When Depression Takes Over

Chapter 2: 7th Grade

Those few months after summer were fine. It was 7th grade now, Austin has changed me. The names still were bad, and people actually started to believe I actually did things. I was in 7th grade for shit sakes!!!

There was also more rumors being made. I was getting sick of it all. I still tried staying strong though. It was slowly killing me on the inside. I was a girl who didn't take anything serious but the more and more names people called me I kept thinking well I must be then...

In the middle of November, more close to Thanksgiving we started talking again, and yeah he asked me out but it only lasted for 3 days. I still wanted him.

There was a new guy at our school, named Jake. He had a four wheeler accident and he broke both arms. I saw him the summer before.  

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I was at the city pool withy friend Megan. She saw Jake and wanted to go talk to him. So we got out of the pool and she went and talked to him. She told me they were neighbors so that was pretty cool I guess. I saw him as very attractive. Also extremely funny. I still didn't talk though.

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I sat in front of him in about every class. I remember that in language arts class we would talk the entire time. He was so nice! I only liked him as a friend but I felt I liked him more. I helped him write his work and everything like that. Things changed when he heard the rumors. He started calling me names. Even better.

Through out the next few months everything was back to normal. Then came January. We started talking again. It was more of a friends with benefits talk though. He changed me even more. I liked the whole friends with benefits thing.

That's when I realized he told people. The other amazing (sarcasm) thing I realized was I became what people called me.. kind of. 

We stopped talking. The next couple months were normal. But the names were still there tearing me apart piece by piece.

One friend I forgot to mention was Alex. He was the guy I had a crush on in 3d grade. Which I had a crush on him now. Again. We were like brother and sister. We would tell each other everything and always got in trouble in class. I couldn't be with him though.. He had a girlfriend.. Vanessa.. (not actual name) she was a bitch and did nothing. Ok now back to the subject.

The month of may has came. Hating myself more. I started talking to Austin again. In that friend with benefit way. But this didn't happen until a week before school ended when I went to the park. I'm just going to say I fell in love with him all over again, but he only umm wanted the V. He changed me more and more.  

The week school was ending I got my self a boyfriend. I felt guilty because I was still in love with Austin. Hoping Chandler would change my mind and have me fall in love with him. Yeah that didn't happen. Worst of all he was my first kiss. On the last day of school me and my friend walked to the park and there it happened.