When Depression Takes Over

Chapter 1: 6th grade

---------Writers Notes------------

Hello to you all. This is my story. All of the hardships I have been in and still trying to go through. If you don't like reading about Anorexia, self harm and suicide I suggest you stop reading here. I am trying to recover from everything that is happening so to all of you who are having a hard time with life. Stay strong because you are all beautiful.

Oh! I am also going to use a fake name for the guys I like in case any of them somehow find this.

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It all started when I joined this community group with my friends Megan and Brandy. This was two years ago in 6th grade, I was just turning 12.

Every meeting was normal until Megan introduced us to her boyfriend Austin. I didn't know who he was at first but damn he was hot!! the first words he said to me was "Are you Bailey (not saying last name)." I was thinking who the hell are you?!?! but Megan quickly said "This is my boyfriend Austin." That's when I felt the butterflies in my stomach. Great just great.

Well a few months later Austin and Megan broke up. Oh boy was I the happiest girl ever!! Later on that night I received a message from him on Facebook. We became very good friends when about the first week if may he asked me out. Of course I said yes. He made me so happy. I thought it would last longer than it actually did. It was only a month but we talked a lot and he had my heart.

So Austin and I broke up.. I was broken. I fucking loved this boy. I never wanted him to leave. I wanted him to come back, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be even though everything felt so right.

That was when the rumors started up, but nobody believed them because I would never do that. A few of the rumors are that I had sex, gave a blow job, got fingered, and ate out by my ex. It was just a joke I started to think. Then I heard the news... Austin was the one who started them. I was so shocked. It's bad enough he broke my heart but now this? like the fuck. It wasn't that bad but I never realized it was only going to get worse.

Over the summer I saw him a lot, still loving him every single day of it. We dated in August again. I realized his attitude changed. All he wanted now was sex. I knew it wasn't right to date him but I just couldn't let go. We broke up a week later. Again I was heart broken, thinking I should just give up on him. The rumors only got worse... That's when the name calling started.

I would get called a slut, whore, worthless, prostitute, attention seeker, skank, and other shit. It hurt, but I just ignored it because none of it was true. See, I was strong back then. I just kept getting weaker and weaker. I never even done anything. Wait yes I have. I told Austin I wanted to do things with him. Why the fuck did I say that! He probably told everybody after we broke up. Now thinking about it he only got back with me for sex. I shouldn't love him anymore I thought but my heart couldn't let go. I would do anything to have him back. He was my first love, only to find out he was using me.. I kept hoping things would get better. Which didn't happen.