Lies That You Told

Chapter 17

Aaron

   I wake up and Natalie is laying on my arm I move my arm away and almost throw up my face goes pale I take a second time breathe and it goes away.

    I get dressed in dark blue scrubs and my white doctor coat and I get my tennis shoes I go back into the bedroom "Come on or I'm leaving your ass" I say she throws a pillow at me "Give me five minutes to get dressed" she says I go out to the living room and wait when she comes out in red scrubs we walk out of the apartment and into the parking garage as we walk to my car.
   
   "I was thinking about what I said yesterday" I say "and?" She asks "I do want you I want to be in a relationship with yo I can't touch you and I'm sorry for that" I say "I was wondering if you wanted to go on a a date to a restaurant with me tonight it won't be normal because of-" I say "Shut up you idiot. Of course I'll go on a date with you" she says I laugh "Good because I already have reservations" I say

    She laughs too we both get in the car and I drive to the hospital I get out of the car then open the door for her "How kind of you" she says "Just being a gentleman, love" I say leaning on the door I shut it and offer her my arm "Are you sure" she says "I'm sure" I say she loops her arm through mine I feel a tremor tears through me but I stay still she lets my arm go when we get to the peds floor.

      "I'll take you home when our shifts end we are going to have to go to the restaurant in our scrubs" I say "I wouldn't expect more than that Dr." She says "Have a good day nurse Anderson" I say "You too Dr. Crosby" she says I laugh I put my hands In the pocket of my lab coat and I go upstairs to the phycological ward and knock on the staff therapist's door

     "Dr. Sloan I haven't seen you in my office since" she says "Since James blurted out about my father in his session and you were mandated to say something because it might have affected my job" I say moving my hands "Right. Come in" She says I sit on the couch and she sits in the chair in front of it "What brings you in here the last time you were in here it was mandatory and you said fuck therapy and you were never coming in again" she says "There's a girl I've liked her for a long time and she likes me and I guess I'm trying to be a better man for her" I say.

   "Well the best way to get past it is too dive in" she says I nod "So the last time you were here you didn't talk much about your father" she says "There isn't much to say other than he abused me until I moved out I have scars everywhere from his belt" I say "Well that's getting somewhere" she says .

     "I can't touch anyone" I say "Why do you think that is" she says "I don't know you're the fucking shrink you tell me" I say "Tell me more about your father how he made you feel" she says "How he made me feel?" I laugh "Angry. Upset. He always made me feel terrible about myself and there were different things that he did to me" I say "Would you like to elaborate?" She asks.

      "He... he raped me multiple times when I was younger and it tore me apart and caused other problems" I say "Elaborate?" She asks I shake my head "Aaron. Do you ever have nightmares or flashbacks" she says "All the times. Night terrors. I get physically sick when someone touches me or I touch them" I say I'm starting to shake.

     "I can tell you right now with no doubt you have haphephobia and it made need medications" she says "You mean I can get better" I say "Of course you can with maybe a months worth of sessions we can figure out if there's anything else and get you medicated but it's not going to be easy" she says my pager rings "I have to go" I say "See me again tomorrow" she says.

    I nod I run to the trauma floor see multiple patients "Page everyone you can!" I yell.