Distasteful Desires ✔

💕fifty eight💕

Farhana's POV

It's the day of my baby's surgery according to the doctor it's a four hours surgery and it has been almost 6hours yet they are still in the theatre room, huzaif mum, elder sister, aunt fadila and even my stepmum is here with me,sincerely speaking i will rather be alone at this time, I barely see huzaif since the previous day he had that conversation with his sister, he usual just check on me and we don't even make any conversation and he leave,
   I know he's upset with me and i will not blame him for getting angry at me, sometimes i wonder who to be blamed,him or myself because as bad as i want to blame myself he's also responsible for the situation.

The door to the hospital room open and huzaif comes in gaining everyone's attention, I just stare at him he look overly stress his beard has grown more than usual his eyes heavy from lack of sleep.

"They are out of the surgery,
She's in the ICU for now." He say as he glance at me then turn to his mum.

"Alhamdulilah then,
When can we see her?" His mum ask and he scratch his beard exhausted.

"Not now,
I don't know,
I have to get going i have an emergency to attend in the hospital." He say and quickly exit the hospital room.

"Your baby will be fine insha Allah
" kinji"huzaif mum say and i node.

They all begin talking about random stuffs as i just zoom out thinking about my own complicated life, wonder how Ibrahim has been battling his cancer it's been a very long time since we talk, all my life i have soo much anger in me blaming everyone for my mistakes and never give anyone a chance to be a part of my life, I'm so sick and tired of being angry and blaming everyone for my mistake, I could drown in my own sadness suffocated in my own mistakes because i know it's mostly my fault, I'm not the best at making friends and the few that reach out to me get bored of my attitude and leave, I am so rude and ungrateful that it has everyone pretending that i don't even exist anymore, Do i exist? The palpitating of heart and the expanding of my lungs tell me I'm alive, but am i alive to everyone, my mind keeps on going on and on thinking about my life.

Huzaif's POV

Even do the surgery went well there's still probability of complications, I feel so tired and exhausted of everything I haven't sleep well for 3days, entering the hospital i decide to take the stairs to the ward, i seriously doesn't even know where my relationship with Farhana stands,
Is she still upset ?
Will our marriage ever work out?
Is the baby going to be fine?
A lot more questions keeps churning into my head as i look up from where the sniffing sound is coming from.

Even do she's standing with her back facing the wall,I still know who it is.

"Sakina." I call standing by the wall so i can see her face.

"Yes doc." She say quickly wiping her tears making me to frown.

"What happened?
Is everything ok with your kids?" I ask and she node.

"Then why are you crying?" I ask, she sigh and look up at him.

"Why did you even care doctor.
I'm just tired of everything going on in my life, I've been a good and, faithful wife to him, why wasn't i enough." She say and i just stare at her.

"Everything is going to be fine,
Just give him another chance you have kids you don't want your kids to grow up without a father." I say and she shake her head.

"I have given him chances doctor,
It's just who he is." She say and i slightly path her on the shoulder, honestly everyone got there problem and I feel really Terribly sorry for her.

"If you are tired then do the right thing, make your own decision" I say as i remove my ringing phone from my pocket.

"I have to go now they are waiting for me at the theatre." I say putting my phone back into my pocket, i smile weakly at her and we both continue the walk to the stairs.

The 2hours knee Arthroplasty surgery was a lot note quicker than i expected, discarding the gloves and removing the blue theatre gown and face mask at once i exit the theatre room with a tiring sigh and wipe my forehead.
I decide to head to the hospital cafeteria, I need a cool water my head will explode soon if i don't take a nap.

On my way to the cafeteria my mum called and ask me to come stay with my wife for a while i told her i will ne there soon, with a tiring sigh i sit on one of the chairs and drop my phone on the table.

"Hey doc." The familiar voice say making me to quickly look up as she hand me the chill looking case of water.

"Thank you,
Just what i need." I say and she node.

"How did it go?" She ask still standing and i gesture for her to sit.

"Good.
He's probably in the recovery room now." I say and she node sitting on the chair.

"You work a lot more than usual this days." She say and i humm in response.

"Yeah.
Just need to clear up my mind on something." I say and she node.

"It's funny right,
How it's easy to help others and tell them what to do with there life when you don't know what to do with yours." She say and i look up from the table.

"Yeah.
Sometimes things get out of our control, look sakina,
We have only one life we should live it happy and with people that deserve it." I say and she smile weakly at me.

"It's easy to say doc but difficult to put into use,
I love my husband we've been together for years and he's the father of my children, I respect him alot but cheating once can be ruled out as a mistake but twice and more it's just unfaithfulness." She say and i node turning my gaze to the cafeteria door.

If other women can give there husband's a second chance why can't mine do same, maybe it's because she never loved me my phone beep and my mum name appear on the screen making me to sigh.

"I have to go now,
Have a good day." I say and she node with a smile  making me to smile.

I sashy out of the cafeteria and head to the parking space, all i want is to be out of this sweaty navy blue scrub and rest, maybe seeing my little girl can lighten up my mood right now.