I don't know what to do without you [Glamrock Bonnie x Monty]

Chapter 32 Opening up

Moon finally got to Bonnie's room, barging in, the bassist quickly composing himself.

Bonnie: Moon what are you doing here?- he asked confused, has he sat, the taller staring him in the eyes.

Moon: The fuck's wrong with you man?! You know what happened to Monty why did you pressure him?!

Bonnie: Pressure? I didn't pressure him, the fuck you're on about?

Moon: Monty is really hurt, don't pretend to not know about it.

Bonnie: They're hurt? What happened?

Moon: Since you wanna play dumb, FINE, I'll go along with it! Monty came into the daycare, drunk, mumbling about how he didn't want to do it, how they felt his only purpose was to be fucked, so THE FUCK did you do to them??!?- the bassist's confused expression melted away being replaced with one of worry.

Bonnie: Me being in heat pressured him?

Moon: You didn't realize?

Bonnie: No! I'd stop his ass if I fucking knew! Why did I even think it was a good idea to see them like this?!?

Moon:Next time you see Monty, tell him you're sorry... And don't let them do shit while you're in heat. I don't want to have to beat any sense into you.- he said moving to the door, before the other spoke.

Bonnie: I'm a terrible boyfriend aren't I?... I allowed this to happen I'm a fucking horrible boyfriend.- the rabbit wondered the taller turning not sure of what to say. Moon wasn't very good with sappy or emotional stuff, they'd prefer Sun would handle this situation, but they were currently asleep and Moon knew not to wake them, so they pushed through.

Moon: Listen I only know what Monty tells me but, from what I've heard that's not true... It doesn't make the fact you probably gave him terrible flashbacks be gone but, you did what you thought it was the best, you couldn't known you were making them uncomfortable if they didn't say a word, so just, apologize... And take care of him, they've been off since it happened.

Bonnie: Alright...- he replied throwing himself on the couch, it wasn't like Bon didn't care for what Moon had to say, it was more of him feeling remorse, his thoughts spiraling down after the daycare attendant went away.

I hurt him. I hurt Monty. I hurt everyone around me. I should die, then I'd stop hurting everyone else.... I shouldn't be feeling this. I hurt Monty I shouldn't be saying this stuff. Me dying would hurt him more, why am I thinking like this?!

He pulled himself out of thought, staring over to the the cork board figuring it should help clear his mind, him going through the evidence until, again, someone barged in, this time being Monty. The other's had let them out of the daycare in the pretence he would go to his green room, but no, he'd stumbled their way to his boyfriend's room, even drunker than before his scratches way more apparent, they stood on the door the other bassist looked at them.

Monty: Am I ...something? Do you really love me?

Bonnie: Of course, rockstar.- he said going to the door, the rabbit walking over to his boyfriend, not picking them up.

Monty: Then why? Why does it feel like you don't? Why do I keep having intrusive thoughts saying you don't care who I am you just want to mate? Why don't I feel anything lately? Why? Do I just want to keep myself from thinking about that night? From feeling anything? Is this why? Why I'm feeling so shitty? Why I can't escape the thoughts that tell me you don't love me? That I just serve to be abuse? Is that why? Am I just running away from my trauma? Is that why I triggered myself today?- Bonnie finally decided to replied to his partner's rambling, has he sat on the ground besides them.

Bonnie: I'm sorry about today, I shouldn't- the alligator quickly interrupted him, holding his hand.

Monty: Stop it bon... It's not your fault... It's mine, I should've realized my boundaries... I'm so stupid.

Bonnie: You aren't.

Monty: Bon I've drowned my sorrow in beer, I'm a fucking dumbass.

Bonnie: You're drunk?!- the taller nodded.

Monty: Yeah... Sorta... I'm tipsy enough where spilling my fucking guts seams like a good idea.- they said throwing himself back so he laid down.

Bonnie: Are you always thinking about that night?

Monty: Not always, but most of time.... I have pretty bad intrusive thoughts... That's why I use- he interrupted himself remembering what they did- I self harm.

Bonnie: You relapsed?- the other looked away nodding.

Monty: It feels so horrible it's been over a year, I just.- their eyes began to wet, him refusing to even let the other look at his face, their grip tightening on their thigh- I thought it was behind me. I thought I was fine. All this fucking work, it was for nothing. I can't even be good for my sake... J-just feels like in the e-end I let it happened.- tears ran down his face still refusing to look at his boyfriend- I-it's my fault. S-some sick part of m-me says I w-wanted it to happen, I-I know I didn't b-but, what if I d-did?- before Monty could say anything else Bonnie pulled them into a deep hug.

Bonnie: Stop it. Don't say that. You didn't want it to happen, no one wants to he rapped, you don't deserve anything that happened, don't let the intrusive thoughts make you think otherwise.- the taller became undone in his arms, sobbing onto his shoulder, Bonnie petting his back- All of this wasn't from now was it?- the other shook their head- You've been carrying all of this weight on you for a while... Tell me more, let it out bottling it has gotten you no where and it won't ever.- gator sobbed onto the other's arms completely distraught.

Monty: W-what is it t-to t-tell?! A-all I can d-do is c-cry...

Bonnie: Then cry rockstar, cry, let yourself feel.

Monty: I-I s-shouldn't. I-I'm just putting my problems onto y-you.

Bonnie: I just want to help you carry the weight, know that you're not alone in this... I love you, I love you a lot, so let me help you.

Monty: T-thanks you l-love.

Bonnie: Its nothing rockstar.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter if so please comment your thoughts and vote.
Much love!

-MissevilXD