That night, our friends leave, and England tries to make dinner.
The keyword is 'tries'.
"How'd you manage to burn soup?" America asked. England sighs.
"I suppose I only really cook for myself... and when I say 'cook' I mean heat up a microwave dinner...," England said.
"Don't worry, I'll make us something," Britain said.
"No, today was tiring enough for you kids, you don't need to make dinner... lets just order pizza tonight," England said. Britain nodded, slightly astounded he didn't have to overwork himself.
Soon, when the pizza arrives, we hang out on the couch and eat together. We never really visited England, but he's treating us pretty well so far.
"It was nice of your friend to bring everyone to check on you, and I saw Britain's girlfriend was wearing a bisexual pride shirt," England said.
"Um...," I say, hoping that homophobia isn't some sort of hereditary trait or something.
"You three seem worried. I'm bisexual, if that helps," England said. America sighed in relief and flopped into England's arms.
"Why didn't you take us sooner?!" America exclaimed. England sighed.
"Britain didn't want me near you five... I just hoped he was treating you ok... I should have tried harder to contact you," England said.
"It's ok, were here now," Britain said. Suddenly, Australia decided sitting was boring, and began trying to climb the bricks on the fire place despite them not having enough for him to grip onto.
"Cannnnncannnnnnn when's Mexi coming over again?" Australia whined when he realized that being unsuccessful was also very boring.
"I dunno, he just comes over when he feels like it," I say.
"Sooooo Cancan... you're gay, Mex is heteroflexible or whatever... you two goin to the dance together?" America asked, nudging me. I roll my eyes.
"No way, I'm trying to help him win his crush over. He wouldn't consider me at all... not under any circumstance," I say.
"Awwwww poor mapleeeeee," New Zealand said.
"Why poor? I'm fine! He can date whoever and it's fine with me," I say.
"Do you like him?" England asked.
"As a friend, sure," I say.
"And... as more?" America teased.
"Just cut it out, he won't date me," I say.
"Ok, but answer the question," America said.
"I... I like him... I don't LIKE him... I don't know... It doesn't matter if I have a crush on him or not, I just want him to be happy, and he'll be happiest with him...," I say, but... will he?
The only reason he wants to pursue America is because he was his only source of joy in his childhood...
So... what if America isn't what he needs?
Later, after dinner, I walk up to England.
"I'm really really sorry but do you think you can talk to Mexico... without pay...? He... He needs help. He really needs help...," I say. England looks down at me pitifully, and I decide to pull the trigger. I put on my best puppy dog eyes, and England sighs.
"Ok... invite him over tomorrow and I'll talk to him," England said. I smile and give him a hug.
"Thank you...," I say.
The next day, I invite Mexico over after school. Me and him hang out a bit and play video games with America (unfortunately, Mexico hardly talks when America is around). Soon, England calls Mexico into his office. After a while, America realizes what's happening.
"Is Mex ok?" America asked. I sigh.
"No... He's not," I say.
"Oh... what's wrong?" America asked.
"A lot... he's just been through a lot... and... well, I just thought it'd be good for him to finally get help," I say. America sighed.
"Aw... I'm sorry... I wish we talked more, he just... seems to hate me after what happened between us...," America said. You know what? F*ck it.
"Ame, you're the person he has a crush on... he just has a hard time expressing it," I say. America stares at me in surprise.
"Really? You're not lying?" America asked.
"I'm not, I'm being serious," I say. America looks down in thought. Soon, Mexico comes back and flops down next to me, leaning against me and whining in a very 'im very tired and emotionally exhausted' kind of way, despite not saying any actual words.
"Hey... Mex?" America said. Mexico looked up.
"Uh... y-yeah?" Mexico said. America smiled.
"You wanna go to the formal with me?" America asked. If spontaneous combustion happened out of an emotional outburst, Mexico would have just exploded like a bomb. Instead, he had a slight panic attack, but tried to keep it together.
"Y-yeah... of course!" Mexico exclaimed. I realized that Mexico was probably about to faint, so America and I exchanged a subtle nod as I dragged Mexico away to my room, where he eventually fainted.
A few weeks later, it was actually time for the dance. I went to Mexico's house to help him get ready. He was going to go to dinner with America before the dance, and they'd drive to the dance together (America was excited to drive England's expensive-looking car, while England gave him a long lecture to be safe and not destroy his car). I was helping Mexico tie his tie, when Mexico let out a deep sigh.
"Nervous?" I ask. Mexico nodded. "It'll be ok, just be yourself," I say. Mexico takes a deep breath.
"Wh-what if he doesn't like me?" Mexico asked.
"He will," I say.
"How do you know?" Mexico asked.
"Me and America are really similar in a lot of ways... we both love the same sports, we have similar music tastes, and have similar hobbies... and, he loves a lot of things I love, so I know for a fact he'll love you," I say. Mexico stares at me for a moment, before pulling me in a hug.
"I guess I'm also a bit scared... what if I'm not good at... couple sh*t? I... I never even had my first kiss," Mexico said.
"I have, it's nothing intimidating, you just... touch lips," I say. Mexico pauses for a moment, before looking up at me.
"Can you help me practice?" Mexico asked.
"UH THAT'S KINDA GAY," I exclaim.
"We'll say no homo, I just want my kiss with Ame to be perfect," Mexico said. I sigh.
"No homo...," I say, before pulling Mexico closer. This is a perfectly normal and not at all gay thing to do.
"No homo," Mexico whispers, before our lips touch. There is nothing wrong with some perfectly heterosexual practice kisses between friends. And It's not at all weird that we're kissing a bit longer and more passionately than what some might consider 'practice'. That's just the length I'm willing to go to help my 100% platonic bestie. And it doesn't matter that even when I pull away, he pulls me back, because practice makes perfect.
Suddenly, Mexico's phone rings. He pulls away to check it, and then sighs.
"Ame's here to pick me up... um... I'll see you later, at the dance...," Mexico said. I nod, and he walks away.
Sh*t, that was kinda gay....
YOU ARE READING
Don't Kill People Dammit!
FanfictionCanada was happy that his best friend Mexico had a crush on America. He was less happy knowing that Mexico was willing to go full yandere for him though. And so, to avoid a situation with such limited appeal (i.e., Mexico murdering everyone physical...
