recreational idiocy | wilbur soot

𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐤-𝟏𝟖𝟐

𝐨𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐚

"stop staring at me like that, you weirdo," i mumble as will looks at me, eyes wide. "it's considered rude in this country," i finish, though it's taking a lot of effort not to do the same to him.

he's got this white dress shirt on with the sleeves rolled up and the top left unbuttoned and a pair of khakis, almost like he just grabbed the first set of nice clothes he could find in his closet, but it looks almost criminally good.

i'm a bit pained to admit that i spent a good two hours getting ready for this.. hangout? date? ..thing? I wanted to look nice, since it's been quite a while since i last saw will. 

the distance seemed to only emphasize how much i liked him. but in what way? could i allow myself to have feelings for someone this fast? or would i only end up hurting myself in the end?

there's only one way to find out.

"im sorry," he says, snapping me out of my thoughts, "you just look really good... bloody amazing, actually," he finishes, looking a bit flushed.

"you don't look awful either, simons." i respond, nervously rubbing my arm from behind my back, so he wouldn't see how anxious i was. 

he shook his head with a smile, extending his arm. "shall we?"

"ah, chivalry. bit outdated, innit? they do say it's dead," i say, raising an eyebrow. he shrugs, responding with "since when do you care what people say?" 

i couldn't argue with that. once i took his arm, he led us both out the door and to his car.

"oh. my. god." i gasped, looking at the ingredients spread out on his counter "you're a genius and i would like to have three daughters with you," 

he claps a hand over his mouth and bursts out laughing, taking a whole two minutes to finally calm down. when he does, the first thing out of his mouth is "why can't we have boys?"

"well, mr. simons, i'm very glad you asked!" i say, going into full professor mode. "you see, with our combined good looks, your height, and my confidence, we'd breed the world's greatest supermodels.

they don't have to be female, but how great would it be if we ended up creating three female models with actual talent and personality to replace the kardashians? and they'd be british, therefore infinitely superior,"

he seemed to consider this for a moment before replying, "i see where you're going with this, and i have to say.. that seems like a brilliant plan,"

i take a bow, full of bravado. "thank you, thank you. now, let's start making our dinner before i starve to death and leave a note in my pocket blaming you for my untimely demise."

will's very methodical with his cooking, spreading the sauce evenly, leaving just enough room for the crust, sprinkling the cheese just so. i'm a bit more reckless. i believe the making of food is not only key to survival, but an art form as well.

art isn't perfect, or precise. It's messy, and it evokes feelings. but this is also just a pizza, and i'm really hungry, so i try to make mine as fast as humanly possible.

"god, beanpole, you are so boring," i sigh, looking at his plain pepperoni. "not even a smiley face?"

He shakes his head, covering a spot he missed in mozzarella, then turns to me and flashes the most horrifying grin i've ever seen, purposely widening his eyes to look scarier.

"dude, that is gruesome," i laugh, covering my eyes as he lurches forward, arms outstretched in a horrible imitation of a zombie. 

"i want your braiiiins," he groans, eyes lolling back as he grabs my arms. "ugh, will!" i shriek, laughing as he shakes me. 

He drops the act and smiles his usual lopsided grin, looking directly at me, his hands still at my arms. i look up at him, studying his features for what seems like a moment too long, as his face suddenly turns serious. he starts to lean down toward my face, his eyes trained on mine..

a loud beep! emanates from the oven, letting us know we should put the pizzas in.

we spring apart at the sound, both beaming bright red. "er- i-" will stammers. i, on the other hand, manage to keep it together and smile, gesturing to the oven "gentlemen first."