recreational idiocy | wilbur soot

𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞

𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐛𝐮𝐫

via and i are watching this film she loves called 'remember me' when i finally get some time to think about what happened- or rather, what almost happened.

i almost kissed her. and, if i'm not mistaken, i think she would've kissed me back.

god damn that fucking oven.

as robert pattinson predictably gets the girl on screen, via beams up at the television, mouthing the words to the script just as the characters speak them. it's clear she loves this film, and i really like that.

seeing her doing something she loves, even as simple as watching this film for probably the millionth time, sends a warm feeling through me. i'm still staring at her when she finally glances at me, giving me a weird look when we make eye contact.

"what?" she demands.

"nothing. you seem to be enjoying this," i comment, gesturing at the screen and hoping she doesn't find it weird that she caught me looking at her.

"robert pattinson is the best looking man i've ever seen in my life," she replies dreamily. "though i probably shouldn't be saying that to the man i'm currently on a date with."

date. the way she said that one little word so nonchalantly, like there was no question about it, made it hard to contain my smile. managing a straight face, i responded with, "i'll allow it. rob pattinson is downright sexy,"

she laughs and hits me with a pillow as the alarm we set for the pizza goes off. that stupid little alarm that ruined my chances of kissing her earlier. 

"this is the best pizza i've ever had in my life" via says, looking at her slice in wonder. 

then, after a moment, "i'm sorry, but i don't think you'll ever get a second date," she says, looking at me seriously. my heart drops as she says the words. I thought the date was going so well!

"what do you mean?" i ask, my voice cracking embarrassingly. her expression softens as she looks at me and replies "just jokes, will. i was going to say i'd rather marry the pizza. but honestly, this is one of the best dates i've had in a long time.

when she says that, i feel about ten times lighter, like im floating on air. does this mean she has feelings for me... romantically? and do i, for her?

oh, who am I kidding? of course I do. 

"so there will be a second date then?" i ask eagerly. I want her to say yes so badly, I'd do anything to ensure another date with her. the first one is already better than any date I've had with any other girl before, and I can't imagine stopping at just one.

she leans back into the couch, smiling, and replies, "if you ask really, really nicely."  

this gives me hope, and I think about how to respond. I want her to know that I really want another date, but I also don't want to seem too desperate, so I decide to go the joking route.

i dramatically drop to my knees in front of her, taking both her hands in mine. "oh, my fair olivia, will you do me the pleasure of agreeing to let me court you?" 

she laughs at this, then leans over and looks me in the eyes, responding with "sure, will. whatever you want."

suddenly, i feel guilty for not telling her the whole truth. i know if i don't do it now, i may not get the chance to. she could always find out on her own, and then what? she'd know was lying to her the whole time, but she wouldn't know the reason. even worse, she'd probably think I did it to hurt her, which is something I could never even imagine wanting to do. so I have to tell her, and I have to do it now.

"there's something i've got to tell you." 

the way her face immediately drops makes me feel infinitely worse. "no no no, it isn't anything bad, i swear!" i hasten to add, which seems to relieve her.

"okay.. look, i know i should have been honest from the start, and i'm really really sorry but.. my surname isn't simons. it's gold." 

she looks perplexed for a moment, then answers with, "er- okay? is that all, then?"

if only.

not wanting to have to explain everything, i pull out my cell and google my name, then hand her the device. "please don't think of me differently. please."

her eyes grow wide as she takes the phone, reading about my fame, net worth, music career, and everything wikipedia knows about me.

it's a long while before she says anything, but when she finally does, it's only a single word.

"okay."

really? okay? what the hell does that mean? is she upset i didnt tell her?

"...okay? what do you mean 'okay'?" she looks at me strangely, like she has no idea what i'm on about. 

"i mean... okay. so, you're internet famous. so you're an artist, which, by the way, is really fucking sick. it's a lot to take in, but i don't think any more or less of y-,"

"can i kiss you?" i interrupt. her face turns a deep scarlet as i watch her expression, waiting anxiously for an answer. the flush in her cheeks makes me want her to say yes infinitely more, and I cross my fingers behind my back like a little kid to give myself some extra luck.

"really?" she asks, like she thinks I'm taking the piss. as if I'd ever joke around about something like that with her.

"i'm being completely serious right now, via. is it okay if i kiss you?"

she nods slowly, answering, "all right. yes,"  and the moment i get permission, my lips are on hers.