Just like you

Don't be so hard on yourself

Staring into the foggy mirror in her bathroom Katherine stared at what was left of her arm as she gripped tightly to the towel around her naked body. Tracing her eyes over the shiny new scar that had become the flap of skin that now covered the stump of the upper most part of her arm. Looking down lower her mouth tightened at the longer thicker scar from where the man who tried to kill her had nicked the artery in her armpit. Shifting her dead-eyed gaze to look up at the woman who for a second looked like the old happy and vibrant Katherine Blake. She blinked and the woman was the one she was coming to recognize. This was the new and broken Katherine Blake. The one who she couldn't stand to see for longer than absolutely necessary.

It's been nearly four weeks since she'd almost died. In those long weeks her hope and optimism had quickly diminished as minor setback after minor setback occurred. Kat was healing well. The doctor said she'd had the quickest bounce back of anyone she'd ever seen. That had been from pure spite and determination to not let the ghost of Alexander Pierce win. Physically she was healing wonderfully, but that was slowly becoming not the case mentally. Mentally, she felt like she was falling apart.

Having been born right-handed it made losing that whole arm more than slightly difficult for her. Kat now had to relearn how to do everything with the wrong hand before she could get her new arm since it was still being designed. Relearn how to brush her hair, brush her teeth, shower, eat, get dressed and even go to the bathroom.

When it came to food she'd given up on trying to cook and gone straight to ordering takeout or accepting the meals that her neighbors and her friends would bring. That was the only thing that she accepted from anyone. Everything else she stubbornly did on her own. Katherine had refused to let Thomas move in with her when he offered to help. She told him that as much as she appreciated his offer this was something she had to do on her own. That if she accepted his help now it would be twice as hard later when she had to do it on her own.

It was going to take a while before her arm was ready. Stark had been more than excited to build it for her, it wasn't every day that he got the opportunity to use his degree in biomedical engineering so with Bruce Banner's help they were building an arm from scratch that would be surgically implanted. The goal was to have it link up with the existing nerves and musculature so that she could use it just like a normal arm. He told her over the phone that it was going to take him a while, but he'd hopped on the project the moment Maria had contacted him. While he was gaining joy and prestige from her misfortune Kat felt like she was drowning.

Her friends, her team, and SHIELD were all behind giving Katherine their full support. She should be happy and she really tried to be for as long as she could stand it, but at the end of the day how could she be when a large part of her was missing? Something that had always been there and that she'd always taken for granted was now gone. Even when she got her new arm she wouldn't be the same Katherine Blake. That woman had died that day in the stairwell. The one who stood in here in her bathroom was just a ghost.

Letting out a half-hearted sigh she went into her bedroom to get dressed, dropping the towel on the floor. Kat grabbed her underwear as she sat on the edge of the bed to put it on. Next was her bra that she kept pre-clipped before slipping it over her head and shimmied it into place. By the time she was fully dressed she was only slightly out of breath, but she hadn't cried or screamed in frustration. 'Already today was a success', she snorted in derision at her physical therapist's favorite quote.

Katherine walked over to her dresser to grab her hair brush. Running it through her wet hair in quick jerks, just enough to get the tangles out before calling it good. Not even attempting makeup Kat slipped on her pre-tied Nikes and a zippered hoodie left undone. As she put her phone into her back pocket and her easy to use bill fold in the front a knock sounded on her door.