The First Time

11.

Derek lay in bed that night thinking over the strange series of events that had unfolded. Never had he imagined that the day would turn out as it had.

He was thankful that when he'd arrived home Mark had been in the shower. It meant that Derek had been able to avoid having to face him since he'd been concerned about how he was going to explain to Mark why he'd taken off and deserted him at the gym. Derek had no idea what reason Izzie would have given and he wasn't ready to share his new found knowledge about Meredith with Mark.

He doubted that he ever would be.

He quickly made his way in to his room and closed the door, leaving the lights off, hoping that Mark wouldn't even realize that he was home. He figured that he could get up and use the bathroom in a while - after Mark was asleep. Derek had too much on his mind for there to be any chance of sleep finding him in the near future anyway.

He smiled in the dark. It was all so much to take in. Thinking about Meredith as a virgin just made her even more special to him. He'd always known that she was different but he couldn't tell if that was the reason why. Looking back it all started to make sense. He realized that some of her actions were understandable given her lack of experience. But then remembering the way that she responded to him when he went down on her and her actions in the shower when she'd come to him unbidden ... he knew that once awakened ... Meredith the sexual being may just be more than he could handle. He couldn't wait. His body started to respond to just the thought of what he had to look forward to and he rubbed his fist over his growing erection thinking 'down boy'.

He had no idea how he had managed to say no to her. She was beautiful. Hot. And horny. And yet he'd left her wanting more. She had wanted him and he'd said no. But only because he wanted to make sure that she really wanted HIM not just any guy. But already he didn't think that was the case. He thought that they had the start of something special. But how would he know for sure?

He knew that Mark would never believe what had happened tonight which was hardly surprising given that Derek himself was having trouble believing it. Part of him wanted to get back up and go straight back to her place and fix the problem. But that was just it. As far as he was concerned it wasn't a problem.

Although he had to admit that he was also a little nervous about it.

It would be a first for her and he wanted it to be perfect.

But what she didn't know ... was that it would be a first for him as well.

He'd never taken a girl's virginity before.

And even though it may seem strange, given his obvious experience with the female sex, it had been a deliberate choice. He had never wanted to. He had always avoided it. It had actually been a selfish choice until now. He wanted to get as much out of it as he knew she would with his experience. Better to find experienced girls that were in it for the fun and enjoyment just like he was.

But that was up until he'd met Meredith. When it came to her, he knew that he didn't want anyone else to do it. So that meant that it had to be him. But he didn't want her to have any regrets.

He wanted more than fun with Meredith.

Sure he wanted them to enjoy themselves but it was more than that.

He knew already, he wanted it all.

The pressure to make it perfect for her, he knew, was going to weigh heavily on him over the next thirteen days. And the thought that if he didn't, she might forever regret her decision was a daunting prospect.

GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGA

Meredith woke the next day and her first thought was of Derek. She actually wondered if the thought of him had even left her mind all night. He was certainly the last thing that she had thought about before she went to sleep, he'd filled her dreams and now all she could think about was the prospect of seeing him again at lunchtime. She wished that he had chosen to stay, even if they hadn't done anything. The thought of waking up all curled up beside him made her feel all warm and squishy inside. It was a feeling that was entirely unfamiliar to her but she was sure that she'd love to get used to it.