When Hell Froze Over

Chapter 10

Alice Duncan sat in her living room. Alone. She had a tub of ice cream in one hand and a spoon in the other. Her pet hampster had just died, his name was Henry.

Alice was heart broken, she buried him outside rigth by the pataio. It broke her heart, frankly, because that's the only thing she lived for.

Then she heard a soft scratching at the door. What is that? She thought. She went to the door and opened it. Looking down she saw her hampster. She picked him up by his neck in confusion. He went to bite her.

Alice became very frightened an in this state she threw the hampster at the wall and screamed. Henry was not fased by this action and ran at her.

Alice screamed again and ran to the closest room with a door, which happened to be the bathroom, and slammed the door shut. Henry didn't make it inside, he had been an exteremly fat hampster when he died and hadn't excactly lost weight since then.

So the little fat hampster ran head on into the bathroom door. Alice was scared, she'd just buried her sweet little hampster and now he was out to kill her. Poor Alice. The woman was so confused she felt it was good to faint.

The poor woman had no idea what was going on and was now laying in her bath unconious while her dead pet was trying to break down the door. Henry wasn't in good shape either. We're talking about a hampster trying to break down a bathroom door. The whole sceane was preatty pathetic.

After ten minuets Alice came to again. She listened to the door. Henry was still there. She had a plan though. She opened the door, dogged her fat hampseter and grabbed him by his neck fat. Then she took him outside and buried him again.

When he dug himself out she smashed him with a shovel. Then she went into her house and commenced to crying and eating one of thoughs gaint plastic tubs of ice-cream. After the ice-cream she got very drunk.

We're talking "my girl just broke up with me on christmas after she fucked my little brother" drunk, all because of a hampster. A hampster! It gets better. After finishing off every bottle of liquor in her house she picked up the phone and called her brother, John, to ramble about something. He hung up on her shortly after answering.

"Well...I....uh should getta somin'...a....thing." She mumbled.

Alice stumbled out of the house and walked to the bar. She stumbled in the door and took an unsteady seat.

Alice was a very, happy, drunk. Though no one in town had ever seen her drunk so this was a sight. Alice was lauphing and drinkin' and having a blast. It was great. All the up untill she passed out at the bar and took a nice hard nap.

"What the hell happened last night?" Alice asked quitly after she came to.

"You got super drunk and passed out. I have pictures if you want to see." The atractive bartender said.

"Sshhhh. Hush. My head hurts." She said holding her finger up to his soft lips.

"Well, if you want, we can head back to your place and I'll make you breakfast." He whisperd.

Her eyes lit up, "I would love that."

The took his car over to her place and he made the most amazing breakfast ever. With alittle side of hangover remedy. Perfect-ish.

Alice learned that the bartenders' name was Chuck. He looked to beautiful to be a "Chuck", but whatever. He was nice, sexy, and making Alice breakfast. His name could be "Favio Mango" for all she cared.

"So, what did I do last night?" She asked.

"Well, you did mention a hampster, a man named Oliver, and that you wanted more booze." He said smiling.

"What did I say about Oliver?" She asked surprised.

"That he was a quote, 'meanie head' that was a good friend of yours."

She put her head in the palm of her hand, "I hate myself."

"If it makes you feel better, your not the craziest I've seen." Chuck said leaning in closer.

"So, all I did was say some crazy shit?"

"You also got on the bar and danced to 'Drink to that all night.'"

"I really hate myself."

"I don't hate you, if it makes you feel better." He said looking deep into her eyes.

It was getting very romantic. It almost didn't feel real. Then alittle dose of reality hit, when she belched in his face. The romantic feeling died after that. Even worse, her breath smelled of booze and breakfast. Awkward.