impossible | 𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙗𝙤𝙤

thirty-six<3

SORRY FOR THE CLIFFHANGER LAST CHAPTER 😁

(continuing from last)

athena pov

i broke into a run as i got out of ranboos room. i heard him calling my name behind me.

quickly i turned into my room and locked the door.

"that went well"

i snapped my head behind me.

"oh i forgot you were here." i smiled at him. "did you hear all of it?"

"no. not all of it. just you very loudly stating 'i'm in love with you'." he grinned widely. "angry love confessions. on top of drunk ones. wow. eventful."

"oh be quiet toby. this is not funny!"i bit back a smile.

i wasn't really amused, but he was definitely cheering me up, and he knew that.

"it's really not that bad! honestly now you guys can run off into the sunset all happy and in looove"

"you are disgusting." i sighed, falling back onto my bed. "i'm actually really stressed"

"don't be stressed. on a serious note , i think ranboo feels the same. but you've got to give him credit, he's taken care of you for so long. and he's also the most awkward person i have ever met." tubbo reassured me, and patted my shoulder.

"no i didn't mean to lash out on him like that. did i lash out? i don't even know. i wasn't mad at him. i was mad at myself. for getting all drunk and high. if fucking declan didn't message me none of this would be happening and i wouldn't be one. hung over, and two, in this mess!" i exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air, as an act of frustration. "ugh!"

"declan messaged you?" tubbo was suddenly very serious.

"oh. i wasn't supposed to say that either. i'm not even drunk what the hell."

"no it's good that i know you need to tell people about this kind of stuff. what did he say?" toby adjusted his position and sat up right.

"just look on my phone. password is 071104 . his contact name is just declan." i leaned on the bed, my weight on both my palms.

i waited in silence as tubbo scrolled through the disaster that was last nights messages.

"he's such a cunt. let's beat him up" he scowled at the phone screen.

"he really is a cunt." i groaned, falling face first into the bed. "i'm so done with everything ughhhhh"

two knocks sounded at the door.

i jolted myself upright so quickly i almost fell on my ass. i looked at toby and just raised my eyebrows and threw my hands about. 'what do i do?' i mouthed. he just shrugged.

i put a hand to my mouth and tried to make myself as quiet as possible.

"athena?" ranboo knocked again. "please? please let me in."

i wanted to fall to the floor and break down crying at the desperation in his voice.

'open the door!' tubbo mouthed at me.

'you do it!' i mouthed back.

'fine! fuck you!' he mouthed , sticking two middle fingers up at me.

i quickly ran into my bathroom so he wouldn't see me.

the lock clicks. "hey, man. let me just talk to you quickly." tubbo said, walking outside and closing the door behind him.

i walked out of the bathroom quietly and pressed my ear against the wall to hear what they were saying.

"ranboo she's just upset about the way she spoke to you. she feels bad." tubbo explained to him.

no response for a while.

"i don't want her to feel bad! i wasn't hurt by it! at all actually!"

relief washed over me and i sighed deeply.

"yeah i know. i bet you weren't man but they're really stressed out right now. and even if you didn't mind she's still mad with herself about the way she shouted at you." tubbo spoke about me so kindly.

i understand why i liked him so quickly.

"jeez. i hate- i hate knowing that i've upset her. it sucks. so bad." i heard him say, and that urging desperation was lacing his voice again.

i wanted to cry out and say, no! ranboo you didn't hurt me. i did this to myself, don't blame yourself, please.

but i just held my breath.

"you didn't , don't worry about it . she knows how much you care about her."

"i really just need to talk to her toby." he let out a sigh after his sentence.

"i know man. just wait until tomorrow, okay? she doesn't want to upset you any more." i heard what i assume was toby patting him on the shoulder. or chest. or something.

then i heard footsteps slowly walk away and the door opened again.

"i just saved your ass." he raised his eyebrows at me as he closed the door behind him.

"i feel so bad. he's gonna feel like this is his fault. i'm just gonna fix it tomorrow. take it all back or something- i don't know"

"oh god please- for the love of christ do not take the i love you thing back" he groaned, rubbing his forehead.

"why not- i've got to!"

"no you don't. not if you meant it. you'd be lying else."

"oh fuck the truth at this point."

time skip( to the next day)

i was laying on the couch with my head on sapnaps shoulder, watching the youtube video he was playing on his phone.

(a/n platonic btw guys it's like a best friend thing. like brother sister)

"hey"

oh fuck. oh shit. oh god.

"hi! um i actually... have to go- feed- the fish- uh bye" sapnap got up and winked at me as he left.

"uh-hey!" i protested.

we do not have fish. bastard.

"i'm actually gonna-" i smiled apologetically , getting up.

"wait- stop" ranboo stopped me before i could get away. "we really need to talk."

"okay." i exhaled before turning back around. "i'll talk."

i stepped so now i was stood in front of him. "i said a lot of things yesterday. i was upset. and i am so so so sorry about the way i shouted and i promise i didn't mean to upset you. i just- i don't know."

ranboo opened his mouth, about to speak, but i quickly put my finger to his lips to stop him. "don't. please"

he closed his mouth and looked down at my finger. which was just still, on his lips.

i didn't move for a few seconds, my eyes darting between his lips and his face.

no.

no.

no.

i dropped my hand.
"can we just go back to being best friends for a bit. i need time to process. what i said was true. but i'm really stressed about it and - i don't know okay. i just want to be like how we used to, for a bit." i put the hand that was previously on his face, and rubbed his shoulder. "i'm gonna walk away now"

he smiled warmly and just nodded.

he understands me.

which isn't helping the case.

1216 words

this is a filler be prepared for the next couple chapters honestly

also y'all's comments give me LIFE i love yall so much keep commenting your so funny all of you. remember to take care of yourselves and i love you all :)