Do More Good (5sos ot4)

Chapter 12

"I can't believe that actually happened,"

"No, it's true, I swear," Calum said.

Calum was visiting Ashton, Luke, and Michael for dinner. Luke and Michael had worked that day, but Ashton and Calum had off. Ashton ordered food for them and picked it up before anyone arrived. Now Calum and Ashton were taking turns recounting horror stories they dealt with as nurses.

"Okay, I think I can outdo your guy who spit everywhere. We had a guy who they kept giving stool softeners to. The aides weren't documenting his bowel movements, so we didn't know he was shitting 10 times a shift." Calum grimaced. He knew where this was going. "He had a rod through his leg, but thrashed around like he had no pain. He actually played in his poop. He shit so much it came out of the diapers, got all over the sheets, and he'd bring his good leg all the way up to his hips and get his feet in the shit. We had to throw away the sheets any time we changed him."

"Why are we talking about this during dinner?" Michael whined.

"Dude, you play with dead bodies for a living. Poop grosses you out?" Luke teased.

"Yes, the bodily fluids are always cleaned up before I get them. And once  they're dead, they always do what I tell them," Michael proudly took a sip of his beer.

"And what do you tell them?"

"Stay, lie down. Close your eyes." Michael shrugged.

Calum looked at him, unsure if he was serious or teasing.

"He's not joking," Ashton scoffed. "I've walked in on him telling a dead guy to stay as he walked away,"

Calum snickered at Michael's indifferent shrug again.

"What can I say, I'm good at training. I've told Ash we should get a puppy—"

"Don't even start, we are not going there again," Ashton ignored Michaels pleading eyes and explained at Calum's confused look. "Every couple months Michael sees a cute dog and thinks that we should get one. None of us are ever home enough to train a puppy, it wouldn't be fair to the dog,"

"Also, Ashy doesn't think we're responsible enough to take care of it and thinks he'll end up doing all the work," Luke fake-whispered across the living room, pointing between him and Michael.

Ashton shrugged.

"That is also true," he nodded. Michael had to lean across Calum to slap Ashton in the arm at his words. The four were eating take out on the couch, something Michael rarely let them do, preferring the slight formality of the table (and less crumbs on the couch), but for Calum he allowed it. 

Ashton rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Cal, did you hear about the patient in 43 that was being horrible to the float 1:1 the other night?"

    "No, what did he do?" Calum knew the patient, he was admitted for a seizure and was constantly trying to get up and he was a fall risk so they ended up making him a 1:1 for his own safety. Unfortunately, he'd had another significant seizure two days ago and passed away, but he didn't know what the man had done before that.

    "He was talking on the phone to his daughter the other afternoon, and told her how sexy he thought the aide sitting with him was,"

    "Ew, what the fuck?" Michael sneered.

    "Yeah, and it gets worse. The whole time he was making suggestive movements at her, and then he got on the phone with his wife later in the evening, said, 'this girl is such a'..." Ashton fake dry heaved a bit before continuing, "'Tasty piece' and asked the girl if he could 'stretch her', and then his wife must have said something because he said 'don't get my hopes up, not that kind of stretching,'."