Didn't we almost have it all

Final Goodbye

Fletch straightened his tie in the mirror. Hard to believe that only a week ago he and Jac were on the brink of something amazing and now she was gone
"You ok Dad?" Evie asked
"Not really babe but I'll be ok" he smiled at his eldest child
"Sacha's here and Emma and her Dad"
"Thanks love"
He'd shown Evie the letters that he and Jac shared. She knew her Dad was devastated. Fletch took a deep breath and went downstairs
Emma was playing with Theo and Sacha and Jonny stood awkwardly sipping tea.
"Hi" Fletch said
They both mumbled their hellos
"How's Emma?" Asked Fletch
"Not sure she's really taken it in yet" Jonny replied "I mean you'll know Fletch, your four lost their mum"
Fletch nodded  "they did  and we got through it. Just keep her memories of Jac alive mate ok?"
"Yeah , yes don't worry" Jonny placed his hand on Fletch's arm
"Sacha" He nodded in response
They were together on that awful day when Elliot delivered the heartbreaking news that she was gone. All three men stood in Sacha's office and cried.
"It's all my fault" Fletch sobbed
"You know I didn't agree with this Fletch but nobody could have stopped Jac. It was ultimately her decision. I know you were just giving her a chance"
"But..."
"Fletch she knew the risks, we all did" said Sacha
"What happened?" Fletch asked Elliot "and how are you?"
"It seemed to have gone well but she suffered a massive fatal stroke. Her brain had just had too much damage. I'm sorry "
"You at least gave her that chance Elliot" Fletch paused "can I see her?"
"I don't see why not"
"Read this whilst I'm gone"
He passed the letter he'd received from Jac to Sacha and Elliot.
"I think she's still in the theatre"
"Ok"
He entered the churchlike calm of the theatre. Everything had been cleaned away, all her tubes gone
He tentatively lifted the sheet that covered her face and choked back a sob
"Oh Jac, I'm so sorry" he gently touched her face. She looked so serene and beautiful

"The cars are here, and the hearse" Sacha said
They all piled into the cars. On top of the coffin as per her request were white roses. Fletch had followed her instructions to the letter.
The chapel at the crematorium was packed. She never knew how many people cared for her despite her fearsome reputation. Plenty of people knew that under that tough exterior she was actually sensitive and sometimes like a scared little girl
Fletch, Sacha,Jonny, Dom, Henrik and Ric Griffin carried the coffin and then laid it at the front.
The celebrant said a few words then asked Fletch to go up
He cleared his throat
"Well this will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do. How do you talk about a woman like Jac Naylor? She touched each and every one of us in this room to a greater or lesser  degree. Let's be honest she was an inspired and brilliant surgeon and we will all miss her more than words can say.
It will come as no surprise to any of you that I loved her. I managed to tell her at the eleventh hour and the last thing she said to me as she was wheeled down to theatre was "I love you Fletch" Great timing Naylor " soft laughter "and Emma, your mummy loved you soooo much and was so proud of you. If you ever want any stories about her, you come and see me.
Jac entrusted me to make today run the way she wanted and she wanted me to read this by Henry Scott Holland

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

"All is well. Not yet but it will be and now we send her on her way with this song."
As the first few notes of 'let it go' rang out Fletch stumbled to his seat blinded by tears.
She's really gone
———————————X—————————-
2 weeks later Fletch, Sacha, Jonny , Emma and Henrik said a few words and scattered her ashes in the peace garden as she had requested.
"Rest easy my love. All is well"

A/N The ending of Holby is sad and I don't know how it will end. This is the only flac fan fiction I have ever written with a sad ending. In a few days I might also do an alternate ending but for now RIP Holby City xx