Falling for my best friend {EDITING}

15. Tom

I woke up slowly because of the sun beaming towards my face, I slowly stretched and did not feel like going out of the bed. I was confused, this isn't my house. Shit. Oh, shit. Fuck. Fuck. No, no, no, this can not be happening. I started panicking as I found myself in Z's room with my boxers and clothes on the floor, I look to my right and z was there, naked too. Just with her bra and underwear. Not to be creepy, but it was pink. My eyes widened. FUCK, I- NO- BUT- Yesterday's memories came flooding in front of my eyes. I slam my hand against my forehead. Fuck. This is totally messed up, I thought, immediately getting off the bed and searching for my clothes, which were on the  floor. I found my pants first and socks. I was so freaking mad with myself, I slept with z! My best friend! Oh god, I swear, every second of the time, I was regretting what we did. Well I started so it's my fault. While I  was done wearing my pants and moving on to my socks, z was moving slowly and moaning a bit. God. I was flustered, for some reason. Ugh tom stop! You cheated on Nadia, for fuck's sake. You ignored her call, then cheated on her? I hated myself so much. I searched around for my belt, then z woke up yawning then freaked out too. "WAIT,  WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?" z said, covering herself with the blanket, looking more confused than me. I stopped looking, then looked straight into her eyes. "We had sex z, we fucking had sex" I said looking so stressed. Ah, I found my belt on the bed. Fuck, it really was a wild night. I put on the belt in my belt buckle of my pants. "Ah...shit, tom...," z said, stuttering. I didn't pay attention because I was freaking out. Z passed me my shirt and jacket. I wore my shirt, but not my jacket.  Z slowly came out from the bed feeling so embarrassed, I could tell, and honestly I  feel the exact same way. While I was looking underneath for my shoes, z tried to jump over me to go to the other side, but instead slip on top of me. "Fuck..., I'm sorry, I-" she said, getting up immediately. I rose up with anger. "CAN YOU JUST -UGH" I said in frustration. 

She looked at me with a strange face but with anger too, she walked past me  to her drawer. I went to the sitting room, there it is! It was next to riella , riella woke up in a good mood I guess. I wore my shoes, finally. I can not believe this happened. God, why? Why? Ugh. How do I see her now? I thought as I finally stand up. I took my phone and was about to go, but z stopped me. She was wearing her nightgown. "You...forgot these" she said, handing my black jacket. I grabbed it and open the door. "Tom, are you seriously going to leave like this?" z said, watching me turning around and giving her a death stare. "How the hell do you expect me to feel or do? Huh? How should I leave then?" I said with anger. " Woah, you're not the only one is fucking mad about this tom, don't be selfish" z said raising her voice. I slammed the door closed and walked to her. " Selfish?? Excuse me? Selfish? Do you fucking realise that we had sex and made out, and I am in a relationship? Do you? , no you don't because you're fucking self-centred, always have to be how you feel but not how I feel, you don't ever take my feelings into consideration as well, you can not fucking expect me to take this lightly" I said blurting it out while z tears slowly started shedding. I didn't even regret it because it's about my relationship on stake. "How...am i, so fucking self-centred if I'm only trying to ask how you feel about this? " Z said emotionally and full of stutters. I felt no empathy for once, I didn't even know if it was possible for me to feel this way. I laughed." oh really?trying to ask me? How I feel? Did you say it, though? No, no you fucking did not but instead demanded why I was leaving like "these", z, you got those two confused, and I'm not going to argue about that" I said wearing my jacket. She wiped her tears and laughed a bit."you are acting as if I was the first one to even do it...tom, I don't want to argue please" z said watching me taking breaths and sighs. " Don't you think it's a little too late to stop arguing? Ah, I'm the first one to? Looks like we're starting to blame each other" I said walking out of the door. Suddenly, z grabbed me. "NO, tom, we cannot... Argue like this any more, please, I know I am being a fucking hypocrite right no but_" I shoved her before she could finish her sentence. I stared at her. " Even if I forgave you, or you forgave me or whether I'm the cause of this, I don't know how to face you any more. I don't know how I look at you now, it's different z, I'm sorry." I said, looking unhappy and sincere.

She stepped back, confused. It was silent. "I...don't understand" z said trying to hold herself. I closed my eyes for a second, then opened again.  I closed the door and went to her. "Z, I  am sorry...okay? ,I also don't want to argue, I guess I was angry because I  am hurting  Nadia, and I am scared of how this will ruin our friendship and my relationship. I think it's best if-" I stopped as I felt so emotionally. Holy shit. No. I'm not doing it. I can't. She looked at me with a weak smile. She sniffed. "I get it, you don't want us to see each other again" z said, crying silently. I kept quiet because I knew what she said as correct, and I cried too. I am only doing this only to avoid more future problems or see where we stand, as in how we see each other now that e slept together. You might not find it a big deal, but trust me, sleeping with your best friend while  being in a relationship is the worst. I don't want to lose z again like our last fight, but if not seeing each other will make us better friends in the future, then why not take the shot...even though  it's hard.  Talking with each other won't work, for many reasons. Z broke my thought by bending at riella while sniffing. "Looks...like I just have you and the girls" z said, her voice is so adorable when it cracks into tears. I turned my hands into  a fist, trying my best to pull everything together. Z stood up."your silence already told me the answer, you can go now, I'm not stopping you and I won't do that again" z said not even looking at me in the eye. Shit. Those words struck my heart. It was like a heavy breakup, but...worse. My eyes were red already, I could sense it. I hated myself for doing this, but I did not want to hurt z more by staying in this friendship. I knew it was kinda dramatic, but I swore, too, that I would never fall in love with her, it was a promise and I didn't want it to break. "Bye Zendaya..." I said, swallowing hard, and left without another word or hearing another word. 

Suddenly, tears dripped from my eyes the moment I drove away. I did not bother to wipe them because they were coming out suddenly.  I had to accept that I lost my best friend today for the sake of protecting my relationship with my girlfriend, I don't even know if it's the correct thing. But what I know is correct, is that I have to tell Nadia. As a loyal..., well that word, I don't know if it's me now but as an honest boyfriend I have to come clean. Speaking of Nadia, I have to call her, will that be a chance to tell her? She will be mad I didn't answer her call, but  how- I stopped and groaned. Ugh, this is all too much, I thought. I wiped my tears, even though, there were coming down my cheeks.  Sometimes I just want to be a fan, they are probably having an ease pace life. I switched on my phone,  putting the password and gasped on the amount of social media notifications I was getting and of course the amount of times Nadia called. I checked my socials, and I was confused... 200,000 new followers? I came to a realisation that the uncharted trailer and post was posted, therefore  more people followed. That's great, I guess. I said, wiping my tears. I will have to post, too, or the director will yell. But, at home. When the green sign lit, I drove fast. Once I arrived home, I removed my jacket and cried for a bit until Jacobs called.

Jacob? Why is he calling? I sniffed in confusion. At least it's not a video call, so I'll answer. "Yeah, bro ski?" I said, lying down in the couch with my shoes removed. I could hear Jacob breathing heavily, was he somewhere involving people and cars? Because that's what I'm hearing in the background. "Dude, why were you not answering your phone" Jacob said, still breathing heavily. "It was off, sorry, but you didn't call" I said in confusion and sat straight. "Of course I didn't call, but your girlfriend did" Jacob said. What? How does he know? Before I spoke, Jacob spoke" if you are wondering, how I know, not only am I a genius but a smart scientist too". I laughed. "Haha, c'mon, how did you know, mate?" I said nervous, you can tell by my bouncing leg. "Your girl, Nadia is back, I'm fetching her don't worry" Jacob said laughing. I froze. Nadia is back? I'm 100% sure she said in two weeks... oh, hell..."is that why she called?" I asked Jacob. "Yes parker" Jacob said also talking to someone in the background. Shit. Shit. Shit. I slammed my hand against my forehead. "I'll be right there" I said, with confident but with fear too. Would I be losing ... Nadia too? Is all I could think about right now.