Falling for my best friend {EDITING}

12. Tom

i took a deep breathe. i gazed in her eyes ,our eyes were locked in one another. why does it feel so ..awkward ?  why does it feel like its been years since we have seen each other. Is she going to let me in or..? i stopped the thoughts as i see her close the door in front of me. i had a strange expression. no,i wont go. we have to fix this,whether she wants to talk to me or not. i open the door gently then closed it. "z,can we please- " just as i was about to finish or start the sentence ,she comes up to me looking mad and sad at the same time. "what? ,only now you decided to fix things tom, after this time ,you still decided to fucking show up huh" she said looking angry and biting her bottom lip making her look a bit aggressive and gorgeous.  "i just want to explain" i said gently and passing her ,her favourite flower. she threw it on the couch. i should have known it wouldnt be easy. " well guess what tom, i dont fucking need your explanation, you had a chance to do that and u blew it up so please leave " z said becoming a bit emotion. she even looked away during most of her talking. i went closer to her but she stepped further back  wiping her tears. oh chucks ,i cant.. thats when i realise im crying too.

Tears were flooding from my eyes. i wiped my tears  because I'm not here for z to feel sorry for me. i just cant live a life with that is intense and complicated.i promised myself that i wouldnt leave this place without fixing things so i will stick the promise no matter how hard this situation becomes. 'z-" i started. "no its Zendaya to you now,tom" Zendaya said swallowing hard. i sighed,"fine then Zendaya, i am not here to make you feel bad about yourself or make things or worse as it is already,im here to fix things whether its worth losing our friendship or not, after explaining if you want me to leave then i will" i said  knowing its going to be challenging . she finally looked at me then sat down. i sat down too,but of course on the other couch. i havent been here in a long long time . it took 5 minutes for her to gather herself and feelings too. she sat straight,turned towards me with her hands closed. "ok then ,explain" she said sounding quite nervous ,i can tell from the tone. i left out a silent sigh," z- i mean Zendaya, i didnt mean for this too happen ,all of this i mean. i didnt mean for  scarring you,yelling at you or reacting the way i did instead of talking in  proper manner where we can both explain ourselves. i just  had so many emotions coming over me ,fear and anger".  i noticed as how i  was explaining to z,her  expression was a genuine,kind and calm one. the z one. " i was just scared that i would lose you because i got a thought that you liked me...and i didnt want to break the promise we made,it would be like betraying each other's trust- 

"tom,you ..have a point about betraying each other,i want to apologise for..not being giving u a chance recently when you came and for being stubborn or harsh that day. i shouldnt have gave that impression ,especially that night " Zendaya said figting with her hand. she looked cute  when she did that. i knew she wanted to continue speaking so i allowed her to. "its just things have been tough over these 4 years,i realised something that i never knew would effect our friendship  with confusion and division between us" Zendaya said looking at me with a closed smile she usually does. " what do you mean..and what is it if i may ask?" i said feeling like i wanted to know so eagerly so i pushed myself at the edge of the couch . she looked a bit embarrassed and then  spoke at last." tom,ever since i rejected you at the beach years ago, my feelings has changed,i did not see you as a friend any more..and i thought it was a minor crush but over the years it has become worse and it has grown till this day.the reason i fled when i saw you and Nadia making out was because i couldnt stand the idea of you kissing anyone except me ,i was still confused about my feelings for you but after our fight,i knew i indeed like you so much. it was hurting me so bad that we fought like that,i thought we would lose each other, i thought it was my fault because of the way i reacted and because my feelings got in the way of our friendship ,this is why at first i wanted to meet up with you but after you ignored my message and after i knew about your relationship with Nadia ,i knew for sure you moved on and didnt want me back. i also too tried moving on but it was the hardest shit i chose,i almost quitted the movie- suddenly she slowly started to cry. fuck. i had no idea she was this messed up and she was this hurt.

oh god.she thought i was moving on and i thought she was-i stood up and went to her . I bent down and held her hands . she didnt even want to look at me,i wiped her tears and used my hand to lift her chin up. "z-zendaya..i am so sorry..especially for being a jerk and ignoring you. trust me that wasnt the case,its just things ere tight then not only with our situation but my relationship with nades was creating a havoc over social media, she was also robbed ,both her and her mom that day" i said feeling guilty . she was surprised,she removed her hands on mine then wiped her tears. i went to sit down. "i ..dont know what to say..I'm sorry tom. i didnt know you were also having a hard time,i guess i was a bit selfish" z said  sniffing .  i smiled,"i guess we were both being selfish at that time, i get it ,you like me. i was there in that position years ago,remember?" i said watching Zendaya nodding. "i just really dont know what to say anymore Zendaya, but i do know that you told me and you are relieved and trust me i dont want things to change..NOT IN A BAD WAY but yeah.. i said sounding nervous because she might take it the wrong way but she didnt. she laughed" haha,its okay tom, i dont want us to change either. i prefer friendship anyway" she said smiling" yes,i am meh relieved" she continued. we both laughed.  yes,i did it. i did it tom,well done. we cleared things and now its time i answer her questions and she answered mines. she  stood up "ugh let me quickly bring juice okay?"  Zendaya said heading to the kitchen after she saw me nodding.

after 15 min of drinking and laughing,i noticed how z became serious so i put my empty glass back into the tray. "hey tom,now that we sort of cleared  everything ,is mrs parkes ok?" she said sounding so caring. i took a deep breathe in and out. " based on her health,the doctors suggest she goes to UK for a special treatment because her health is pretty bad at the moment, i just came from the hospital before coming here." thank god Laura and sof told me you were here. i said smiling. i left a giggle as i saw her being mad. " UGH THOSE TWO WITCHES" she said then laughing.. but continued "when is she going to UK?" . " well uhm in 2 days ,and she will be back at America after a year fro  her recovery" i said tapping the couch. "poor MRS Parkes,out of people...she doesnt deserve this at all,but Nadia and you?,im sorry,i shouldnt even- i stopped her " hey no its okay,you are just a normal worrying human being, well Nadia is going to but she will come to America  before her mom. she is just going for 6 months so we decided to do long distance for a while until shes back.  i saw z's fake smile but i didnt want to make a fuss about it. '"ah thats great then" she said . we were quiet until i asked her," Zendaya- "its z,now dingus" z said smiling and rolling her eyes. i smiled. yes. "well z,u might have answered my question but.. are we best friends again?" i said scratching my head. she rolled her eyes and stood up "yes dingus". i rolled mines too and stood up ."yeah yeah whatever" i said laughing . this has to be the greatest feeling in the world. got my best friend back,still have my girlfriend,not depressed any more, everyone is okay now... finally..i received the notification from Jacob. my eyes widen

 i showed z and we both were shocked and happy

"yo tom,robert and his wife are expecting their first child"

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