Falling for my best friend {EDITING}

17. Break-up? (Tom Holland)

 After dropping Nadia to her house in  America, I came back, sitting on my bed and suddenly cried. I found myself  crying. Did... I cheat on Nadia? Did I  hurt z's feelings? Did I fucking screw everything? FUCK I DID. I shouted out loud when I stood up  feeling stressed. How am I going to tell Nadia? Do i...have feelings for Zendaya? Do I not love Nadia? This is all so confusing. I messed up big time, and I am also in a confusing situation.  I sat down on my bed, again, wiping my tears.  I...love Zendaya, I am in love with her..., she is my best friend, and I am in a relationship and TOM UR A COWARD. What the hell...? Why am I in love with the girl I swore I won't fall for, to the girl who I rejected and rejected me and mostly to the girl who was my best friend..., I sighed. I walked straight into the kitchen and made myself oatmeal. I put some orange juice in my cup and sat down, eating slowly but feeling more guilty. Not only that, but I know I have to come clean  but how do I tell my girlfriend "oh hey I cheated on you unintentionally". Screw me. Fuck. This is worse than I can imagine. If only I didn't climb on top of z, if only I stopped and controlled myself. I don't know if anyone  would believe their lover if they had "cheated unintentionally" but I swear I did. well I think I do. Every thought that appeared in my head made every tear dropped across my cheeks and fall on the counter. How do I even have the appetite to eat...? I thought as I stopped eating for a second. I gulped my juice in one second like a drunk man. I don't even know whose hurt more or who is going to be hurt more. Zendaya or Nadia.  I feel so helpless, I did not know what to do any more, so instead I called Jacob.

After 45 minutes exact, Jacob appeared and sat down  across me from the couch in my living room. Placing his phone and wallet on the table, clenching his hands together   and looking at me. " Bro, you look depressed man..., is everything all right? Jacob began after clearing his throat. "No, I am not, honestly okay man" I said watching him looking concern. He nodded, showing me a sign that I should tell him what is wrong. I told him everything. Everything in detailed. He never interrupted once, and I really admire that. I guess opening up to someone really helps you feel a bit calmed even if they don't help much. It's always calming when you need to get something off your chest. Once I was done, I wiped my red eyed tears. Jacob looked super sad and showed a sad smile. "Hey man, look, coming clean will always be the right choice even if the result is something you did not want, it's always a good choice. Besides, whatever comes out of the dark will always come to light" Jacob said smiling because I smiled too. "Haha dhar man motivating you now?" I said feeling a bit contented. " Well I guess so, but it really is the truth, the truth will always come to light man, so rather own the situation with Nadia and whatever happens, happens" Jacob said  looking at the time on his watch. Wow. I never really put that idea in my head.  I knew I would never regret in calling Jacob. "But what about Zendaya...? What do I do with the feelings I have for her and what do now that i kind of may have break our friendship of" I said with sadness. " That's for you to decide tom, what I think is best for everyone is to clear things with Nadia first  before  settling things with z, solve one thing at a time and everything will eventually come to pieces" Jacob said then excusing himself to the bathroom. I nodded then watch him run to the bathroom. Yeah... I should solve one thing at a time. I took a deep breath in and out of relief. He came back and sat down. " One thing at a time, there is absolutely no rush, take your time if you need to. You know it's rare for someone to admit that they cheated and for someone like you to admit that and come clean about it really is a good thing. Besides, I know it was unintentionally, I know you well by now" Jacob said giving me signs of hope which I needed it very much. "That means a lot Jacob, thank you so much, I really appreciate it man" I said standing up because I noticed that he was in a hurry to go somewhere. "Any time spidey boy" he joked as we walked out of the house laughing.  "I promise to have a bro night some time soon, cool with you? " Jacob said entering his car" of course mate, I need that a lot  man" I said watching his car engine start. "See ya and update me "he said driving away as soon as I said bye.