this is what it's like when you're falling for your "best friend". The one person in this earth you could never develop feelings for...
#tomdaya
#1 best ranking tomdaya 04/05/2023 🤍-17/05/2023
#2 best ranking inlovewithmybestfriend 09/05/2023🤍
#6...
Everything just sucks now. Everything looks weird, everything is weird. i never thought, i would have expected to see things different ,now that zendaya and i broke up . If only I did not run into nadia or helped her,would everything still be like before? Would i still be with zendaya ? Ugh fuck.
Jacob told me ,that perhaps I would move on a bit quicker if I just work on it and avoid social media for a while,that's why I already announced the breakup ,to avoid seeing more edits, but it just made things worse. I feel sick to my stomach,i still see more edits but this time its sad edits,lol.
Why did I even think that this would have work? why did I actually- I can't blame at z at all,it's my fault. I messed up things and I don't know if this is going to hurt me temporarily or permanently, But I know the damage is done and there is nothing we can do about it. Now, that everything is done, I wish we were only friends ,not even best friends but friends.
I miss our friendship more than our relationship. I just wish I could restart everything over again. Nadia sends me messages and calls me ever since the breakup,just to check up on me but i have been avoiding her and everyone too,i just really need to be alone...
But the more I think about z, the more I hate myself and the less I think about her, the more I think about what I could have done to fix this. But at the end,it's done...Ugh fuck, it's late, and it's quite dark,i need to shower,i have been smelling bad for a couple of days now.
After an hour or so, I felt relieved, I guess it helped me calm my nerves a bit. I was in my cozy hoodie (black) and white spidey shorts,with my slippers on. I noticed how chilly the weather is, and I thought playing music,while getting coffee in this weather,standing outside my balcony and watch the city would be the perfect mood.
After 30 minutes,i played "metamorphosis by interworld" ,I took my hot coffee outside my balcony and just stood there,my body leaning against the wall,taking sips of my coffee and watched how the world worked. Like,the people honking each other cause of the traffic,random people walking in a hurry, a child crying for ice-cream,shops closing and as I looked at the sky,i could see the airplane.
so this is life, huh? We move. We move,slowly or faster, but we eventually move on. As i took my last sip,i heard the notification from my phone once the music died slowly (ended). i took my cup with me and placed the cup on the table.
It was the director of uncharted,ruben.
ruben: evening crew,permission to post the poster is granted. Please however include in your caption that the trailer will be out next month. I'll see you all on monday for the final production,enjoy your weekend and the rest of your evening.
Finally, something that could keep me distracted . I quickly closed my balcony door and I laid down on the couch,scrolling through Instagram,and immediately sat straight when i saw z's post.
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zendaya: s3 🤍🫀 (it's on its way)
702,345 comments
lauraharrier: WOO!
alexdemie: we're fucking more bitches 'tis time.
euphoriaaafanpageee: DEJA VU OMS <3
tomswife: @christinaaa._ our showwwww is comin' bacck alr 🥺
_idkifimdarkorbrownskinned_: slayyyyyyyy
lifeishola: time to see the nasties 🥴
zendaya: @lifeishola get outta here 💀😭
editseupho.ria: SHUTUP ! WHAT??? ACTUALLY?
hunterschafer: rue bennett 🫀🤍
zendaya :@hunterschafer jules vaughn ❤️🫀
zendayaaaaaa.aaa: in euphoria we trust !
gggukiie: I hope zendaya and tom are healing from the breakup :(
the last comment,hit a pain straight in my chest. fuck. A tear strolled down my cheeks when I unfollowed her by accident ,it still said" follow back" but it would be weird. I don't know how long we are going to do this but this time I am done.
I wiped my tears which came out of nowhere and quickly plugged myself some music. I guess it's my turn to post then. I am just going to turn my comment section off for a while.
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tomholland2016: thriller next month ! @mark.wahlbergoffical_
disabled comment section.
I sighed. then saw "lauraaaaaaa" 's name appear on my phone. why was she calling me? I mean...she can but,ugh without hesitation I answered the phone.
"laura?"
"tom,there is something I need to tell you that will change everything forever,meet me at this place, I will send the address, things might go back to normal or might be worse"
when she hanged up, I blankly stared at the address she sent .
