wishes | lee yubin

eight.

it was already after noon when me and yubin went shopping. we planned to go to minji's after and we didn't want to come with empty hands so yubin suggested to buy some drinks and food.

"do you think minji would accept pepsi in her apartment?" i asked while looking for some bottles. "they're really cheap here."

"i'm afraid she'd kill you," yubin giggled. "rather grab coke and orange juice unless you want to die."

"okay, coke is it."

we bought also a pack of potato crisps and cheese roll (don't ask why yoohyeon was obsessed with this). and as we were about to pay, i asked yubin if she could include a can of nonalcoholic beer.

"why?" she asked curiously. "are you afraid of being drunk or so?"

"not really, i just hate the mornings after." it was true. me, a person, who had been dealing with migraine since birth, was too afraid of having hangover so i'd rather stay sober.

she took one can anyway. yubin probably understood my situation so she didn't ask about details. she had already dealt with my headaches before and yes, living with me under one roof could sometimes be really pain in the ass.

"yubin?" i asked innocently.

"what is it this time?" she looked at me while putting the can on the counter.

i travelled to the wall behind the seller and yubin gave me a "are you kidding me" look. but she was still willing to do that for me.

"which one?" she whispered.

"red marlboro," i also answered with a whisper.

i was so glad i had yubin by my side, not just because she had just bought cigarettes for me but also the way she was. she was just different.

"aren't you a bit addicted? because you always ask me to buy you cigarettes these days."

i wasn't an adult yet so i had to ask someone who could buy them for me. and it's mostly yubin in this case, being a few months older than me.

"maybe," i said simply. "but who cares."

"i care."

but we just let it go after her response.

as soon as we knocked on the door of minji's apartment, she opened the door and invited us in. siyeon and yoohyeon were already inside and went through the site of the town's well known pizzeria. yoohyeon only greeted us behind the screen, not really noticing who were the new visitors and siyeon just gave yubin a small smile before she put on a stone expression that was given to me.

"go and sit with us," minji pointed on the couch on her way to the living room.

there were only two empty seats - one next to each girl. before i could have time to choose, siyeon gestured yubin to sit next to her so i got the other spot.

"what pizza should i order, guys?" asked yoohyeon. she must've been struggling with what to choose.

after ordering, a marvel marathon started and the potato crisps were making a circle, going from hand to hand.

siyeon didn't give us the best face when we started with the first iron man but she kept sitting and watching the movie with us.

in the middle of the movie a doorbell rang and i found the chance to stand up, my legs were in pain at that moment because of sitting on the couch way too long.

i received two pizza boxes, carried them to the living room and placed them on the tv table.

"excuse me, guys."

nobody paid attention so i just left to the balcony with cigarettes in my pocket.

there was a beautiful view on the street in front of the building and spring sun offered me the energy to take a deep breath before i clenched on cigarette between my lips.

the door to the balcony suddenly opened and smiling minji stood by my side again. "yubin asked me to keep an eye on you,", she explained her presence. "she must be really into the movie, i bet she would've come herself in any other situation."

"you don't have to do that though, i'm fine like this."

"she just fears your obsession could grow," minji took a step closer to me. "here, i own you this." she handed me a brand new pack of cigarettes. "i bought it this morning, as i promised."

"it's okay," i politely rejected it with a smile on my face. "keep it."

"take it, i'd feel bad if you couldn't accept it."

"well..." i slowly took the cigarettes and looked her in the eyes. "but don't hesitate to ask me for a cigarette next time, okay?"

"sure. so, can i share one?"

"oh, of course." i was about to take out another one when she stopped me.

"no, i meant sharing one with you."

i now got what she had meant. so i took the lighted up cigarette that was between my lips and gave it to minji. her fingertips brushed against my hand. and i looked up with a little panic inside. because no one had ever touched my hand like this. this slow and soft movement made me freeze on the spot and watch how minji breathed in the smoke from the cigarette.

"thank you." she must've done it on purpose because i didn't miss the small smirk that came across her face for a few seconds. she scanned me with her look and i wasn't able to move until she placed the cigarette between my lips and left me standing there, speechless.

maybe i was thinking too much and my mind wasn't physically stable the past years. and inside this black and cold mind was rising a red sun that was breaking the dark clouds in the sky.

my mind was so lonely, empty, disgusted. so i needed to let in something positive that could occupy it and destroy the negative thoughts which were flying around.

although i had no reason to be like this, i saw everything only black and white. how could i? i had such an extraordinary person by my side.