wishes | lee yubin

ten.

i was surprised at first and didn't know how to react but the feeling quickly disappeared and i dived into the kiss.

it was me pressing my lips against someone else's for the first time. i didn't know what to do so i just let minji take the lead.

until now, i hadn't known being kissed feels that amazing. imagining and actually doing it were two different worlds so far away from each other.

few seconds passed, she took a step back and looked into my eyes, searching for anything that would tell her she did the right thing. i quickly looked away, pretending to watch the lights on the streets. i was too afraid to face her. but why? i didn't know myself.

"wow," i whispered under my breath. "i didn't expect that."

she hesitated for a bit before she asked: "did i screw up?"

"what?" i turned around to face her. it wasn't a purpose to make her feel that way, not at all. "you didn't screw up, why would you think so? i'm just surprised that's all."

"so?"

i sighed and took both her hands that were laid on my shoulders just moments ago. "what are you trying to tell me with the kiss, minji?"

she took her time before answering. "probably something others are trying to say with that."

"and that is?"

she shortly packed my lips once more and said. "isn't that obvious? i like you."

"is it because of the cigarette i gave you?" i tried to make a joke in this awkward situation. i most likely failed.

"not a cigarette. it's because of you. as a person."

i smiled when a warm feeling ran through my body. a feeling that someone else could only imagine but not feel.

i had always found minji attractive. the way she talked caught my attention many times and i couldn't help but stare at her when she was sitting on a bench with us in between classes. but who wouldn't?

on the other hand, not everyone could notice the little almost invisible things that i noticed. for example, how she sometimes massaged her temple when she couldn't find the right word. or how she didn't get easily distracted. and what's more, she talked to strangers like she had known them her whole life. that's who minji was and i liked her personality. a person might think she hadn't any flaws. i thought so too.

"i like you too," the words escaped in the air. suddenly i felt relieved as they were waiting for being said.

she showed me one of her biggest smiles and closed the gap between us. i wrapped my arms around her and hid my face in the crook of her neck. her scent filled my lungs and i slowly got drunk in the cold night.

we stayed like that for few more minutes, just enjoying each other's company and i was still questioning myself: "why kim minji? why all of the people i know, why her? why did i tell her i liked her?"

"should we share one more cigarette before going back inside?" i suggested. it was getting cold and we stayed on the balcony for too long.

"sure," she agreed and let me go even though obviously none of us wanted to.

i lighted up one of the cigarettes and breathed out a cloud of smoke that slowly faded in the darkness. i lent it to her and watched her doing the same. how i loved the view that was given to me.

then she crushed her lips against mine, moving in sinc while the taste of the cigarette was shared.

minji wasn't restrained nor shy person unlike me. even though our personalities were different, it seemed we understood each other well enough to be liked and to get along.

"i think we should go or else we'll end up as suspects," minji remarked after our first make out ever. "they're waiting for us."

"okay," i nodded and looked to the room through the balcony window. everyone was sitting still, not taking eyes of the screen. we were lucky it was already dark outside so they couldn't capture us.

i gave minji one last kiss before taking a step back. "i think what happened now should stay only between us for some time. what do you think?"

"i think that's a right thing to do," minji replied and smiled. she caressed my cheek which made me immediately smile too.

so we headed back, leaving everything there on the balcony, in the cold night breeze, caught in the thousand lights. flying around like the smoke of our cigarettes, we stayed in our minds for the rest of the night, not letting anyone know.

"where have you been?" asked siyeon as soon as we entered. "did you smoke all the pack or something like that? because waiting more i could've prepared for an apocalypse."

minji and yoohyeon laughed at siyeon's joke. that couldn't be said about yubin and me.

when i caught her scanning me from head to toe and then stopping to look deeply into my eyes, i knew something was up. i had a feeling she might know. of course, she was my best friend and everything we had ever done was shared. she knew me more than i knew myself.

i wasn't that confident now. i was a bit ashamed. knowing that i will face all those questions and being told about secrets and friendship. i already knew it'll hurt me looking at her the following days. but i couldn't tell her right away, i was still surprised and insecure.

"what are you doing there? take a seat," spoke up yubin and looked away.

i glanced her direction many times the whole evening. and i never caught her eyes on me. all she cared about was the tv. it made me sad for a moment but then i remembered minji and everything disappeared.

i lightly touched the back of her hand which distracted her from watching the series. she looked down and after noticing my hand, she laid her palm on mine.