Control (Boyxboy)

Chapter Twenty Four: Home

Cold. Wet. Peaceful.

That's what it felt like.

Death.

It was a feeling that one cannot describe — utter chaos and then nothing. Ironic that it ends with a bang when the ringing of the silence is much louder. It was a sound that muffled everything, and made it seem as if time were moving in slow motion. It was deafening.

Who am I kidding?

It was the feeling of the slippery, icy pavement that dug into my bone like it was paper.

It was so cold I could feel it burn the tips of my fingers, melting away at the skin that it wished to shred. A blanket of comfort was next to me, and in that moment I was thrusted back into reality. Peeling my eyes open I met the eyes of the man that confirmed my warmth of protection. His eyebrows furrowed like sunken ships, sitting on top of strained waters. His lips moved but I could not hear what he was saying- too focused on the form of him, alive, and holding me against his chest.

All I could do was stare at him, amazed that Lucas was actually in front of me. Like a wish come true that could not have been possible. It could have been compared to falling in a dream, being shocked awake in pure terror only to realize that you are in the warmth of a bed. No, this feeling was much better.

The ringing was still pulsating in my head, and then all at once...it had stopped. Like it had suddenly given up to torment me, or maybe Lucas' voice was just that electrifying. As if he had the capability to shock me back into the present and make my heart beat wildly like it was in a constant static.

"...Benji...Benji!" His voice rung into my ears, deep and powerful.

I heard the screeching of tires, men shouting and commotion around us but just as quickly I didn't  hear anything other than what was right in front of me. The voice of the man that had made me fall for him so hard that it had created a deep hole in my chest. His eyes were not in pain but they showcased a kind of misery behind them. Quickly my eyes focused on his body, looking for a speckle of red. Anything that indicated my worst nightmare to come true.

Anything that would show that I was losing control of every situation I had faced in life. That I couldn't do anything in my power to stop bad things from creeping up and pulling my feet out from under me.

But there was nothing on his clothes or any indication that he was injured. My voice seemed to be so dry, unable to concentrate on any words formed but it was like my brain knew what was next. I knew what I had to say. It could not wait a second longer, because if I did I would never gain control of anything.

"I love you."

Time stoppped where the gray sky clashed with the crystal glass of the ground as I spoke those words. My voice was hoarse as if I had never drank a glass of water in my life. The fear in the moment was not from the danger of the situation, or that possibility that we would be shot at again - no, it was in the fear that Lucas would reject the feelings I had for him. It was a soul crushing feeling that in that moment I knew something could actually hurt worse than a gun shot wound to the chest.

Lucas raised his hand and tucked a wet stray hair behind my ear.

"How hard did you hit your head?" Michael chuckled softly and pulled me into a tight embrace. One that warmed my skin instantly like a flame igniting against kerosine. It was more than electrifying and had set me on fire from the inside out. Michael laughed again as if he couldn't believe the situation that we were both in.  Considerably, his voice softened as he spoke his next words breathlessly. "Now you tell me?"

His smile was gratifying.

It shook me to my absolute core and brought a kind of joy that seemed unearthly. Like I was being pulled into a puddle of nectar that I had wished to drown in.

"You did just take a bullet for me, was there a better time?" I managed a smile as Lucas' cupped my cheek with a gentle caress.

"My love, I would take every bullet aimed at you if it meant that I could hear you say those words again."

My smile reflected his in pure adoration. I repeated my words, feeling like I was floating in the clouds.

"I love you." This time my words were much stronger, much more firm and without fear.

"I love you too, Benjamin." Lucas confirmed, and it was like I couldn't breathe for a moment.

Lucas loved me too, and even if that shouldn't have been the most shocking part of this situation I couldn't help but feel like lightning had just struck.

Lucas sat up and pulled me up with him, caught me off balance and sent a million of thoughts racing. Thoughts of David, Henry and that devastating gun that could have taken everything from me. Lucas chuckled as we danced temporarily on the ice, before he steadied my gait and his own.

Turning around I found that we had an audience for ourselves. I hadn't even realized it but the commotion around us was louder than I imagined. There were at least a dozen of men situated around us, standing over a wailing David and Henry. Both had been bound from head to toe. No doubt Lucas men had apprehended the two as we caught in our own world. It was a lowly site, one that I would never forget. I eyed the both of them, standing over their forms as if signfiying that I had won. That they had not been able to control me in their own sick and twisted scheme.

"He's a terrible shot, boss. He shot his own foot," one of the men chuckled as the man on the ground seemed to wail in agreement. "Cops should be here soon."

Lucas looked down at David as he nudged the bloodied foot, inciting another groan. Lucas crouched down blocking Davids view of my own so that I could not make eye contact with the bastard. Lucas gripped the mans hair, yanking his neck to make direct eye contact."Be thankful that I'm not sending you off to your cell without any limbs, David. If you so as try anything behind those bars I will personally make sure the bullet goes into your skull." 

Shivers racked my body but it was not from the cold. It was not from fear of Lucas either, but how badass he actually was. I couldn't see his face but by Davids expression I believed every threat that Lucas told. Lucas stood from his spot, and turned to me with a kind hearted smile that torn through my body.

Lucas pulled me into his side as he whispered into my ear. "Lets get you home, and warmed up."

Simply nodding, I did not care which direction we went because I knew that wherever Lucas was - I was home.