None To Save Me

12 (extra 3)

ShangYu, hope you are doing well,

I can see that bored look on your face right now.

"He always haunts me." It's the most often emotion I've read in your face in those years, even though you never say it.

Personally, I think I can read you better than anyone in the world. It seems like I've not been a big part of your life, but please allow me to be a little proud right now----after all the time we've been together.

Don't close the document yet!

I promise, it's the last time I'm going to interrupt your life.

I don't know if you'll ever see this, but if you do, I guess I'll be gone. Already

I put this letter together with the important documents of Shang's company, so now you know that I am JiangYu. I can't think of any other reason for you to open this letter than sorting through my belongings. You have never set foot in my room, and you have never shown any interest in my life.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you, and I swear I was just trying to state a fact that we all know.

Actually, I'm the one who really feels sorry. I trapped you with glands and laws for ten years, and I often felt guilty, especially when I saw you smile disappear on your face and how you rarely came back home.

But I never really regret it, even in the end.

Since I have no regret, I want to help you and accompany you as much as possible, regardless of whether you care about this trivial matter.

I can't help you with your life.

Then, at work, "JiangYu" appeared.

I think he exists to serve my own interests. I'd really like to see more of you, even if it's a video at our weekly meeting.

Well, about him.

When I'm alone, I often think about a question. If I didn't exist and you were single, what kind of person would you end up with?

I mean, being married, not being together through self-deception, not being imprison in a relationship, not being stuck in a cage like it is now. I'm talking about the kind of togetherness of love, where two people can make a pious commitment in church to be together for the rest of their lives.

I kind of need to pause here, it's difficult, just thinking about it makes me jealous, it make it hard for me to breath.

It's better that I don't exist after all.

All right then, I'm going to move on.

First and foremost, that person must be an Omega. Before we got to where we are today, you used to compliment me on the smell of my scent. But you must've forgotten by now, that was way too early.

Even after you said I smelled cheap and bad, I never had forgotten that compliment until now.

So I'm going to assume that the Omega scent is also light red wine, not too strong, but definitely your favorite.

His looks. Actually, I'm not sure what you like. But I remember that the Omegas you used to date were pretty and pale-skinned, with big, round eyes. Let's just say that's your type.

You'd prefer a career Omega, not a home Omega, since you take your job too seriously. I know you don't like me, and we're not actually married, and we're not even protected by federal marriage laws, but you've never been cheated on me. You put all your energy into your work, and I often worried about your health, but I didn't know anything until JiangYu came along and I was able to join the Company under another identity.

It would be nice if you had someone to help you out.

Before JiangYu came along, I was jealous of the people you imagined you would love in the future.

After JiangYu appeared, I was jealous of Jiang Yu.

The feeling was so strong, especially the one admiring look you gave me at the occasional meeting, that I felt like I was on cloud nine -- if only I were him.

Well, guess that will only appeared in the next life.

Aright, I'm just saying it. I know you don't want to see me anymore, you've suffered enough in this life, and you'll probably avoid me from the start in the next.

So, I guess it's for the best.

I'm a real chatterbox, I'm talking a lot in here, if you can see this, I'm flattered, hahaha.

If there is really the next life, I think I will not bother you, let go of myself, let go of you.

My only little wish is to have someone to love me.

No, if only someone would save me. I've lived in the dark for so long, that I'm afraid of things that bit to bright, just if one person can pull me out of this , I think I'll be satisfied.

Just not in this life. I'm too tired. I feel so miserable just being alive.

Sorry though, I shouldn't be showing you my negative energy.

To be honest, I've been thinking about your freedom for years.

I know you're looking for a reliable doctor who can take off my glands, and I know this could be the best outcome for us -- a return to square one. You are still the Alpha. I become the ordinary Alpha.

But I can't go back.

Now I can't imagine what I'd be like without you.

Every day and night, I'm glad that at least I have a partner in my life right now. I sleep relying on this comfort, day after day, year after year.

Even the thought of you finding true love in your future makes me hard to sleep, after all there are so many people who love you.

So sorry, I can't.

So, please, forgive my final choice. This is gonna be the best outcome for us. I let go myself, and you were free again. And I'll never saw anything of you.

I arrange for everything that might happen next, and the AI well remove any trace of my body, including the smell. I have handed over JiangYu's work. Even the living room and the bedroom where you usually live, I cleaned up my own thing.

Hopefully, in the end, you won't hate me that much.

Well, I guess that it's.

I'm sorry.

ShiWen

December 20, LianBang405

1026 words