Crossing Worlds || Crossover One-shots

• An Angry Little Hobbit || Top Gear / The Grand Tour & Lord of the Rings

A one-shot where Clarkson, Hammond, and May somehow end up in Middle-earth, and Richard is turned into a hobbit, because why the hell not?

Now, I'm actually debating on turning this into a two-parter, or a longfic, but I kind of like it how it is? Still, I think I want to eventually write a bit more of these three old fucks in Middle-earth. If anyone would be interested in that, then please let me know!

Anyway, enjoy!

//\//\\

A headache. That's the first thing Richard is aware of when he comes to. The second is the odd clothes he's wearing. Definitely not the clothes he was wearing earlier. Third, he spots both James and Jeremy lying on the grass not far away from him, also wearing odd clothes that definitely aren't what they were wearing earlier.

The three of them seem to be in some sort of medieval fantasy clothes, something like what you'd maybe see in the Lord of the Rings perhaps, or James and Jeremy do at least. His doesn't seem quite as medieval as the other two. Which gets him wondering if they got shitfaced drunk and for some reason joined one of those larping events. Would explain the headache and the odd clothes.

But at the same time, the clothes look a little too authentic to be fake. And as he crawls over to James and Jeremy, noticing the swords and the bow and arrows they both have - all looking a little too real to be fake - Richard realizes that either he's bumped his head really badly again and this is just all in his head, or the three of them have somehow been zapped into another world.

He's not sure which he'd prefer....

"Jez! James! Wake up!" He says, attempting to wake them up by shaking them.

Maybe the two of them have some idea of what the fuck is going on and how they ended up here. Though, if alcohol was involved and they had gotten shitfaced drunk (it's entirely possible, he does have a headache after all), he's not too sure that they'll have any idea of how the fuck they ended up here and what the hell is up with these medieval clothes they're wearing.

As he attempts to shake them awake, he feels like there's something wrong, not necessarily about James and Jeremy, but about him. He doesn't feel quite right, and he can't place what it is. Aside from the headache anyway. Something just feels off. Not to mention that he's got a completely different attire compared to James and Jeremy, and he doesn't quite understand what that means.

"Ugh, what the hell do you want, Hammond?" James grumbles, sitting up as he rubs at his head. Though he stops as he looks around. "What the fuck? Where are we?"

"I have no idea." Richard says. "Was hoping you or Jeremy had some idea."

"No." James shakes his head, before looking down at Jeremy and attempting to wake him up. "Oi, Clarkson, wake up, you git!"

Thankfully James is more successful in waking Jeremy as he sits up slowly with a groan.

"Where the fuck are we?" Jeremy asks, looking around, before he's bursting out laughing as he looks over at Richard.

Both James and Richard stare at him in confusion - and slight concern - at his sudden outburst. They have no idea what could possibly be so funny. Not to mention nothing about this is even remotely funny. The three of them have no idea where the hell they are, or how they ended up here. What could possibly be so funny about that?

"The hell are you laughing at, Clarkson?" James asks.

"You've not noticed something off about Richard?" Jeremy asks, trying to hold back his laughter so he can speak. "Richard, stand up."