I am Maya Bishop, and I am a murderer
That's it, call it what you want but I murdered him. Those who will try to find a way to make what I did right are simply too open-minded to live in such a world. I could've run, I could've let him kill me but n...
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Overthinking
- To think about something too much or for too long
I had killed him. The harsh reality was that I murdered him.
There were technicalities in the way that I was labelled but in my mind, I held a gun up to his head with the intention of pulling the trigger, resulting in the death of Jack Gibson. Murder.
Homicide is a legal term for any killing of a human being by another human being. Homicide itself is not necessarily a crime, for instance, a justifiable killing of a suspect by the police. Murder and manslaughter fall under the category of unlawful homicides meaning that for me to be classified as a murderer the death of Jack would need to be unjustifiable which was a debated term in my mind.
Under the common law, murder is an intentional killing that was unlawful, in other words not legally justified, and committed with 'malice aforethought.
Malice aforethought doesn't mean that a killer has to have acted out of spite or hate. It exists if a defendant intends to kill someone without legal justification or excuse. In most states, malice aforethought isn't limited to intentional killings, it can also exist if the killer, intentionally inflicts serious bodily harm that causes the victim's death, or behaves in a way that shows extreme, reckless disregard for life and results in the victim's death.
A person has authority under the law to kill another person, but only if that person reasonably believes that the killing was necessary in order to prevent an imminent threat, death, or serious harm to himself or herself.
This is where I got confused.
I was in no immediate threat, Jack wasn't going to kill me there and then, he was simply holding a gun, I just saw the opportunity and took it.
If I was about to be killed and it was life or death then maybe I would be able to find some reasoning with myself, but I was in no deathly threat, I saw a gun and fired it at him, I killed him with intent.
The court had proved that I was innocent, I knew this, they somehow said they found stone-cold proof as to what he did and proof that I was in fact 100% innocent, but I never wanted to know what that proof was as it could've just left me more traumatised than I had already been at the time.
That led me to my second point
Killers are dangerous.
Psychologically, there's evidence leading to the fact that killers often find their prey with people they have a connection with, sometimes even feelings of love.
It gets to the point where they fall in love with someone and will go to any means to keep it that way, resulting in manipulative, gaslighting behaviour towards their partners, in some cases forming attachment disorders.
That then brings Carina into the situation.
If I was a murderer and murderers can become manipulative and dangerous towards people they felt attached to, then me getting close to Carina would result in Carina getting hurt, something I would do anything to prevent.
