Destiny Altered (READ DISCLAIMER)

3 - Preparing for Battle

It was daybreak when I headed for Hing Wa Island to pay Azula a visit. Zuko wanted to come with me, but both Iroh and Aang advised against it. They both pointed out her unbalanced state and fragile psyche as being the reason not to accompany me. Being around such a powerful firebender like Zuko might upset the balance further.

Zuko said that he needed to go to the Boiling Rock to see his father anyway—that there was some unfinished business between them.

I wasn't sure how long I would be staying there. First I needed to meet with her caretakers and get an update on her mental state.

Before heading out, I spoke to Iroh about Azula. He was away for much of her childhood, but when he had left to lead the siege on Ba Sing Se, he remembers her being a happy child, albeit a bit spoiled, but no different than Zuko in that regard. She was always Zuko's shadow back then, following him around and doing everything he did. But when Iroh returned from the war, what he saw was a cold and often cruel child. Azula looked at him with outright disgust—the same exact way his brother looked at him. He knew then that Ozai had gotten to her. She still had her humanity—Iroh could see it in her—but it was buried so deep, and he knew that he was not the one to bring it out in her. Zuko was his responsibility now that Lu Ten and Ursa were gone. I had always appreciated Iroh's insight, but part of me was saddened that he was unable to guide Azula. Although to be fair, it took a few years before he was able to get through to Zuko.

I also spoke to Mai and Ty Lee. Ty Lee seemed to be much more forgiving of Azula having imprisoned her than Mai and was concerned about the princess's wellbeing. She told me that she never meant to betray Azula, but that she couldn't just stand there doing nothing and watch her attack Mai, so she reacted. For so long, Azula had been using fear to get what she wanted from her and Mai and in that moment, something snapped. She thought it was the only way to protect Mai and Azula. She had no idea the domino effect it would have on the prodigy.

Mai was definitely less forgiving of Azula, but she knew the consequences of her actions. She couldn't betray herself and Zuko all for some misplaced sense of loyalty. Still, she had hoped that Azula could understand why she did what she did. She loved Zuko more than she feared Azula. This infuriated her. Mai believed that it was because Azula didn't understand love, but my guess was that it was much deeper than that.

One of the most telling things was something Ty Lee shared with me. It happened one night on Ember Island, when Zuko, Mai, Ty Lee, and Azula were talking around a fire on the beach. It seemed that the princess was pretty adept at reading into and interpreting everyone's feelings and experiences. But when it came time to share her own, she brushed it off, saying she didn't have a pathetic sob story to tell. But she did admit that she knew her mother loved Zuko more and thought she was a monster. She said she was right, but it still hurt.

I believed that was why Azula snapped when she heard Mai tell her that she loved Zuko more than she feared her. Just like her mother. It must have woken something up in Azula and made her angry, because she didn't understand it.

She still probably doesn't understand it.

I wasn't sure I did either. My parents weren't like Ozai and Ursa, playing favorites. The tricky part of this whole thing—assuming she had the mental capacity, which Aang believed she did—was to get her to a point where she could trust me enough to help her help herself. Part of healing is that the patient's mind needs to want it. There has to be some input on their part. Not everything is up to the healer.

I tried to prepare myself for whatever I might encounter—insults, uncontrollable rage, despair, lies, manipulation. It's still just like going into battle, although the setting is much different this time.

When I arrived at the hospital, I was surprised by it's small size. It was heavily guarded, which made sense considering at least one patient who occupied it. I showed the guards at the front gate the note containing Fire Lord Zuko's seal and they allowed me entrance. As I made my way into the opening room, a middle-aged man with glasses about a few inches taller than me greeted me.

"Welcome, Katara of the Water Tribe, friend of Fire Lord Zuko," he bowed slightly. "The Fire Lord sent word by messenger hawk that you would be coming and that you are to be well taken care of."

"That's very kind of him. And of you… you are?"

"My name is Lazu. I have been the one overseeing the care of Princess Azula."

"It's nice to meet you, Lazu," I smiled at him. "What can you tell me about the princess's current state?"

"Why don't you come and have a seat in my office, and we'll talk over some tea," he suggested walking toward the doorway to the right.

"Sounds wonderful," I replied, following him into his office and taking the seat he offered me. He then took a seat across from me. Another man came in through a different door with a tray of tea and set it down on the table.

"Will that be all, Lazu?" the man asked.

"Yes, this should be fine. I'll ring you if we need anything else." With that, the mystery man left, and Lazu poured us each a cup of tea.

"So, Katara, first I must ask you something. What is your interest in the princess? After all, I hear you were once enemies." It was a good question, and one that I needed reminding of.

"The Avatar thinks the princess is not beyond help. I am a master waterbender, and one of my skills is healing. He believes I can help Azula find balance."

Lazu seemed to mull that over for a moment. "She's in a very delicate place, you know. The physicians at this facility are experienced in dealing with patients of this sort. What experience do you have?" Another good question. It wasn't insulting or condescending, just a matter-of-fact inquiry.

"Uh… I don't have any experience with anything other than physical healing. But in order for physical healing to be effective, there is a mental side that goes hand-in-hand with it. It's how one can connect with their own energy to heal themselves and others."

"Energy, yes," he agreed, nodding his head. "That's what has been so off about her since she came into our care. No balance. Perhaps the Avatar is right. You are of the Water Tribe, and therefore, you are the opposite of fire. It might be what she needs. It certainly can't hurt to try."

"Is there anything you think I should know before I go to see her?"

"Yes, a few things. She is still an extremely powerful firebender, so we moved her to an underground room away from the sun. She's been here about a week and just recently her ability to bend has dimmed. During that time, we would observe her from another room. Only this morning was I able to actually meet with her face to face. She was aware of my presence but refused to speak with me. Some of the other physicians have tried to converse with her as well, but only after using some energy blocking techniques."

"Have you come up with any kind of diagnosis?"

"Not yet, but based on our observations and my encounter with her earlier today, we are leaning towards a severe case of depression and paranoia."

"Hmm…"

"There is a guest house across the road where you are welcome to stay while you are here on our island. You may visit with the princess anytime you wish."

"Thank you, Lazu. I think I will come back right after dusk just in case her bending is still accessible to her. It's a full moon tonight."

Yes, I was definitely preparing for battle.