mirror shards // matthew fairchild {1}

twenty-three // shake, rattle, and snap

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Author's Notes:
This one gets just a little darker and also tiny bit spicy, just to alert those who did not come here for that.

The first time Matthew sees Sydney after Highgate, it's seven-oh-three, she's spread out a sewing project on the table at the Devil Tavern, and they're completely alone. It's the last part that gets to him most. Even when they've seemed to be alone, in places like the Institute's library, there have always been people in the next room, or across the hall. Up here, with Thomas and Christopher far out of reach at the Grosvenor Square laboratory and James all but grounded for trying to take on a Prince of Hell by himself, they're truly alone here.

"I haven't seen you sewing since you got back from Romania," Matthew says, "unless you count the orange dress you wore to the Hell Ruelle. But I didn't get to see you make that one."

"I was too busy," Sydney answers. She sighs. She looks...tired, subdued. Quieter than usual.

"I thought you'd be busier now," Matthew answers. "What with the Library of Bats and all..."

Sydney shakes her head. "James took my research away. I don't know where he's hidden it, but it's gone now." She offers Matthew a weak laugh, a tired smile. "He said it was my silver flask. And quite frankly, he's not wrong."

"So what now?"

"Well, I'm working on this," Sydney says. "It's a new fashion – it's like a dress, but with loose trousers instead of a skirt. It hasn't caught on with the mundanes yet, but Danna tells me she saw the younger set in Idris wear them last year when she was up for diplomatic talks with some Scottish werewolves, and rumor has it the Parisian designer Paul Poiret has been seeing a Shadowhunter at cafés recently..."

"So you've abandoned Romania altogether? I refuse to believe that."

Sydney looks at him sharply. Then she shakes her head. "My theory about the Library of Bats, where it was 'leading me,' I'm beginning to wonder if I was wrong. Or maybe because James is convinced I'm jumping to conclusions, I'm convinced I'm jumping to conclusions. Anyway, I'm waist deep in it and the more I try to sort it out the more of a mess it becomes. My brain hurts. I think he's right, and it's best to get away." Sydney scratches at her messy crown braids (she's been doing so many interesting things with her hair lately). "Besides, I've got a vague idea of where to go from here, but I don't know exactly how to make it work."

Matthew leans forward, puts his elbows on the table. "What're you thinking?"

"I want to offer Agasha a position working for me at the Institute. I should have a ladies' maid, since Joy says that seeing to me, and Lucie, and Mama is getting to be too much." Sydney sets down the chalk and tape and pulls up a chair next to Matthew. "I –" she shakes her head, laughs. "It's crazy, isn't it? How much everything has changed, since I left here in January? I barely even stuck around for my birthday. And now look at us. Me, chasing conspiracy theories around like escaped cats, and you, stuck in this little love triangle of yours."

"Wha...?"

"I know you feel something for Cordelia, too," Sydney says, with a small smile he just can't read. "I'm not the only person you want."

"Sydney, that's – if I had to –"

"Don't say that if you had to choose, it would be me," Sydney says. "That kind of thinking, that's bullshit. I know, and I know that Cordelia knows, too – she's seen the way you look at me, she was in Highgate, too." She reaches up, her fingers brushing Matthew's jaw and he fights to keep his eyes open, pushes down the wave of shivers flooding his body. "I have no interest in her. But I don't want to make you choose between us. That's just going to tear you apart. And you've been through so much already. You've been through hell and I know I've contributed. You're trying to love me and I keep pushing you aside like everything else, so I can put my research project first. You know, the one that's had me running on three hours' sleep, sugar, and caffeine for months now." She looks away. "I want this to be good for us, both of us. I want this to be a healing experience. Adding more angst and more pain to this isn't going to help anything." Sydney meets his eyes again. "Ask Cordelia," she says. "Ask her sometime. Until then..."