You Could Be Mine

Axl- Part 19

Axl

(The day before)

I drag Izzy out of the kitchen, hurriedly taking him down the hall and out of the hotel room. I fumble through my pockets, trying to grab my key, not noticing the tears streaming down my face. I finally find my key and open the door, taking Izzy in with me. I shut the door and turn to face him.
"Axl... what- I don't even know what to say." he mutters, his eyes still wide and trying to focus on mine. I avoid his gaze and wipe my tears away with the back of my hand.
"I don't even know." I whisper in return, sniffling softly. Izzy takes my hand and takes me to my room. He sits me down and sits next to me.
"Ok ok. Start from the beginning. Explain everything... please." Izzy says, staring at me in the darkness of my room. "It was just a stupid mistake." I whisper, starting to cry again. Izzy wraps his arms around me and holds me as I cry harder.
"Axl please. What was a mistake?" he asks, rubbing my shoulders gently.
"I... I think I'm bisexual." I answer, sighing and wiping my tears away. I look down at my lap and breathe softly through my nose.
"What... what do you mean?" Izzy asks, his voice softening.
"Me and Slash have been... I don't even know what to call it... We kissed a few times, we slept together, I even fucked him! I really really like him. But I'm not sure if it's... that way." I say, a tear rolling down my cheek and landing on my legs.
"Since when? Why.... why didn't you tell me?" Izzy whispers, his voice starting to break. "I thought... I thought you were my best friend."
My heart starts to break, as I look up at Izzy. "No no! Iz you are my best friend! I was scared! I didn't know what to fucking do!" I say, gently touching his arm. He shrugs away from me, hurt present in his dark eyes.
"Izzy please, I was afraid! I didn't want to tell anyone because I'm terrified of judgement!" I say, tears streaming down my cheeks again. "I was afraid of losing him, and you, and everything! I like Slash! Maybe even love him! But it's wrong, and I don't know what to fucking do!"
I yell out, gasping softly. The realization of what I had said flooding my brain. Everything on my mind had come tumbling out of my mouth.
Was I really in love with Slash? That thought had never come to mind. I wasn't even gay! How could I be in love with Slash? I had no fucking clue.
Izzy carefully wraps his arms around me again, holding me tightly, his heart beating slowly against me. "You know I love you right? No matter what. If your gay, straight or anything! You're my best friend, Ax. That's not gonna change by who you like. Even if it happens to be my other best friend, Slash." he whispers, laughing softly at his last sentence. My heart flutters in my chest, happiness taking over my body.
"Aw you love me?" I joke, laughing softly between my tears. Izzy giggles and shoves me gently, looking down to meet my gaze. "Of course I do, dumbass." he says, a bright smile on his lips. "Love you too, dumbass." I respond, sighing deeply.
I wasn't necessarily shocked that Izzy was ok with this, after all he was my best friend from childhood, and knew of the hell i've been through. But it was still nice to know someone cared. Cared enough to not judge me for who I liked.
"So... you and Slash huh?" Izzy asks, wiggling his eyebrows. I roll my eyes and shove him away.
"I don't know. I like him.... that's for sure. But I'm not gay... I don't think I am... why is this so damn confusing?" I ask, resting my face in my hands. Izzy sighs, and rubs my back gently. "Ok... maybe don't think about gender. Or labels for that matter. Just think about Slash. What do you like about him?" Izzy asks, rubbing gentle circles on my upper back. I smile, closing my eyes and imagining Slash.
That gorgeous smile of his. His wild dark mane of curls. His tan toned body. His warm brown eyes, that I could stare into forever. His pink plump lips. His big soft hands, with his calloused fingers. His everything.
"There's... too much... everything?" I manage to say, choking back my sudden tears.
"Shit. Sorry. Take baby steps, Ax. You just... need a little time. A little patience, ok?"
Patience. That's all I needed.
I nod my head slowly. "Patience." I repeat, quietly.
"I'll give you some time, ok? I'll be back. I want you to take a bit of time for yourself." Izzy whispers, squeezing me gently, before leaving the bed. I hear him shut the door, before I finally look up.
I quietly curl up into the bed, hugging my legs to my chest. I wipe away my remaining tears and rub them on my pants, taking a few deep breaths. Thoughts of Izzy and Slash were swimming through my brain.
After a few minutes I sit up and slowly get off the bed. I get on all fours and crawl to my bag, searching through it. I eventually pull out a pack of cigarettes and my lighter. I sit on my knees, and take one out, putting it between my lips. I carefully light the end, the orange flame flickering and lighting up a small portion of the room. I take a long drag of my cigarette and let the smoke billow out of my nose and half open lips. I put my lighter back into my bag, moving my hands onto the carpet, letting my fingers dig into it. I grazed my fingernails through the strings, trying to find the floorboards. I find them, touching it and letting the small sensations cool me. The smallest sensations were always satisfying to me. I didn't know why, it just did.
I finish my cigarette and search for something in my bag to put it out on.
I find a notebook, opening it and placing the burning end on a few sheets of paper. The paper burns for a while but eventually cools off. Before I put the notebook away, I grab a pencil and scribble down the words "all we need is just a little patience", before shutting the notebook and shoving it back in my bag.

Hey everyone! Thanks for reading the latest chapter! I hope you enjoyed it! Sorry for taking forever, I'm just struggling with ideas! Also thank you for 1k views!!! I'm soooo happy and proud of my work! Leave any recommendations for new chapters, new stories and whatever else! Love you all, stay safe!- Adler 💕