sunsets and roses | t.k.

chapter eleven

"Long nights, daydreams

With that sugar and smoke rings"

𐇵 ~ 🌣 ~ 𐇵

Jungkook hadn't taken his earbuds out of his ears for the entire day, it seemed. He had been pouring over Thursday evening's events from the time he woke up to the time he settled down and went to bed for the past few days. Never once did his mind give him a break.

All he thought about was Taehyung leaning over his guitar and the sweet kiss he gave him.

Jungkook's texts with Taehyung were shorter. He read them over whenever he had time. All of his unsent messages were rants, confessions of his pure uncertainty about the matter that made him feel guilty.

Taehyung didn't deserve this; he had done nothing wrong, and now Jungkook was practically cutting himself off from him.

Questions, oh so many questions, kept running through his mind like he was stuck on a rollercoaster going a thousand miles over the limit. They were things he had never asked himself before.

They had a closeness that rivaled his other friends, people he's known for years compared to a boy he's known for a bit over three months. Their skinship had evolved from the simple pat on the shoulder to late night cuddling, from the shortening of each other's names to endearing pet names only used by the two of them.

After Taehyung told him about his past, about all of the things he had gone through since then, he let Jungkook in farther than he ever had before. It took time, breaking barriers and shells around the redhead's guarded heart, but the changes became normal.

Whenever Taehyung couldn't sleep, he called or texted. Whenever Jungkook was free, he'd walk over to the flower shop or invite the redhead over to his house. They'd talk, eat, play video games, argue jokingly about the smallest things. They shared all of their thoughts and all of their things.

They acted like they were a thing more than Jungkook had realized. He guessed all it took for him to see it was Taehyung taking the leap.

He was confused more than anything. He didn't dislike the kiss. Why didn't he?

The boy was stretched out on his couch, a blanket over his lap and a pillow under his head. The upbeat songs he had on repeat weren't lifting his mood. It was sad to think about. Not even TT or Feel Special picked him up out of his funk. He pulled up his other playlist and clicked on it. The first song that came on shuffle was Strawberries and Cigarettes by Troye Sivan.

Jungkook sighed and looked out the window as he quietly sang along. He didn't feel like doing anything this evening. Especially not any school work. The project he was supposed to be working on, the one he said he'd been working on for the past week, was nowhere near finished. He was going for a major in photography, already halfway through his required courses. All he needed to do was make a small collage of photos. But there was no motivation to look through his old pictures or take new ones.

When he shut his eyes, he saw Taehyung. He thought about the pretty black lines of his tattoos. Every stroke was ingrained in his memory.

The boy groaned under his breath. It was hard not knowing exactly what he was feeling toward the redhead.

He laid there for who knew how long, listening to his music while he pondered and thought and continued to confuse himself. It was getting late. Soon he'd have to shower and go to bed. He turned onto his side, combing his bangs back with his free hand. The music pulsed through his earbuds into his ears. He almost couldn't hear the three knocks coming from the door.