Why Did I Sign Up For This?! (Tankman x Doctor!Reader x OC)

Comrades?

(Big THANK YOU -see how big it was :D- to Kowabunga for voting last chapter! Alright, it looks like we chose to do the smart thing, and that's to tell them the truth! Let's see how that works out for readers ...)

You take a deep breath and release it, body deflating in defeat. For a brief moment, the thought of escaping crosses your mind, but you quickly push it away. You aren't exactly built for outmaneveuring trained soldiers, not like your dad is, not to mention you'd already been caught in 3.5 seconds trying to outrun these two just a little while ago. Plus, you don't even know where you are! Everywhere you looked, there had been orange sand and dead things. With the amount of luck you're having today, you'd just get picked up by another pair of dummies or, worse, carried off by a vulture or something.

Yeah, maybe you can talk your way out of this....

"...I'm a doctor," you mumble angrily, still refusing to look at this Captain guy.

"A doctor?" the captain sounds impressed. "Hey, we've been needing one of those on our side, haven't we, Steve? This could be our lucky day."

He stoops down one one knee and puts a gloved hand on your shoulder. You squirm under his grasp, really wishing this guy would keep his bloody hands to himself. He'd already tied you up and made you land flat on your face by shoving you down a tank hatch--what's next?

"I know I've been pretty harsh, blowing up your helicopter, stuff like that," you hear him say, but you keep glaring at the metal floor. "But ... what do you say about joining our side, doc? Our uniforms are a lot cooler than your guys'. It kinda looks like a wiener up there on top of those helmets you wear."

You turn to glare at him ... uh, except there were like four blurry faces grinning at you instead of the one you're sure he has. You really wish this jerk hadn't pushed you down the hatch!

"What? What are you talking about? And why would I ever help you?" you snap. "I'd rather shove a syringe into my eye!"

"Ugh," Captain recoils at the thought. "Graphic, much? Well, the alternative is hours of painful torture. You think you won't break, princess?"

You swallow but shake your head. "I've had worse, I'm sure." You're lying, of course. Unless you count that time you slammed your thumb in the car door and managed not to cry.

Captain flashes a blurry grin at you. "Alright then, I guess."

"Wait, Captain!" Steve suddenly shouts. "I have a confession!" The tank has slowed to a stop. You and Captain both look at the fidgeting soldier who had been steering the tank, confusion on both your faces.

"It ... was kind of sunny when I told you we should shoot down that helicopter," he begins slowly.

"Sure was. What about it?" Captain replies.

"And I ... They ran out of my favorite cereal in the DFAC this morning, so I've been kind of upset."

"Steve, what are you trying to tell me?"

"Maybe I've been a little trigger happy today."

"...You had us blow up our own heli, didn't you?"

"My excuse is that all helicopters look the same when you're on the ground!"

"Jesus flippin' Christ, Steve. I'm highly disappointed in you. You're getting mop duty after chow tonight."

Steve makes a sad "aw" noise and goes back to steering the tank. While the two soldiers are chatting, your eyes are bouncing between the two of them like a pinball machine. First, you felt relief that you weren't going to be tortured. But then you remembered everything you'd been through up until that point. You can feel your head throbbing with anger as the puzzle pieces all click into place.

Captain rubs his chin before snapping his fingers in realization. He looks back at you. "Oh, right. Guess that makes you one of mine, kid--"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" you shout, startling Captain and making Steve swerve the tank.

"Whoa!" Captain wobbles on one foot before falling backwards. You sit up on your knees and hover over him, nostrils flaring, glasses fogging.

"You put all of us on that helicopter through a nightmare because you didn't have cereal this morning?!" you hiss. "Do you know how irresponsible that is?!"

"Not just any cereal," Steve argues from the sidelines. "It's the kind with the marshmallows!"

"You've both got marshmallows for brains!" you retort.

"Hey, at least I spoke up!"

"I appreciate that, that was actually really nice of you," you say gratefully before reverting to being angry once more. "But it shouldn't have taken you that long to do considering the fact that mop duty is the punishment you get for blowing up a friendly helicopter!"

Captain sits up and dusts himself off. "Hey, he's just a dumb grunt, take it up with the Captain—me—if you've got a problem with the way I run things, lady."

"Sure! I—MMPh!"

Before you can finish your sentence, Captain shoves a filthy disgusting sock into your mouth, successfully shutting you up. You gag against it, eyes welling up with tears at how absolutely gross the sock tastes. You can feel your tastebuds giving up the ghost one by one.

"Oops, I'm sorry! I can't hear you!" Captain mocks. "Guess we'll have to continue this productive conversation AFTER we get back to base!" You stomp your feet a bit and shoot daggers at Captain. He chuckles at your tantrum before directing Steve to get the tank moving again.

--

Bruh （*ｘ＿ｘ）<---- you after today

Sorry you were sort of bullied this chapter and it came out on Wednesday instead of Tuesday, but trying to escape was gonna go a lot worse for you! Like no Steve saving your booty!

Next chapter we'll be getting to the base and meeting the second love interest! I wonder how many people will actually like him more than Captain hmhmhm