Cherry || b.barnes

06 || New York

»I thought I was supposed to stay with S.H.I.E.L.D.« I point out, still not leaving Miss Romanoff out of my sight.

It's the first time she speaks, then. Her voice is full, deep, and there's some emotion vibing with its use I can't determine. »Technically, it's still S.H.I.E.L.D. The Avengers Initiative is a program of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s.«

Means as much as I can't get out of this. »Miss Romanoff overviewed the training results of all available agents, and since yours were the best, you were the clear choice. Plus, I think her team has a little more experience with the worst sides of Hydra, and I think it could do you pretty good to share your own past with someone who understands.«

»You really believe I'd share it with them?« I scoff, head shortly indicating in a non-to-friendly manner to her before finally breaking the eye contact with the red-haired woman and glancing towards Coulson. »You're crazier than I already assumed.« Lifting my right hand to the bridge of my nose, I support that arm with my left hand. »I guess I don't exactly have the privilege to say no, have I?«

»Why would you want to? This is a great chance« Coulson starts to argue, but I take the second he needs to inhale to respond already.

»Sure, great honor to get passed from one hand to the other like I'm a damn toy.« I roll my eyes, »The greater chance in all of this is my death, by the way.«

Not that this was the real reason for me not wanting to go. This section of S.H.I.E.L.D. was bad enough, but the Avengers? Did Coulson eat a clown for breakfast?

Would I want to go rather to them than to jail? »You'll be trained, first. We have very good fighters within our rows, and if it helps you getting along with the idea, it won't be us personally.«

»So, I should also take it as an honor to be allowed to stand in front of you?« I snap back, cocking an eyebrow at Romanoff.

»I have the feeling you and Barnes will get along pretty well.« she murmurs, now rolling her eyes at my attitude. 

She drags her gaze back to Coulson, who simply shrugs. »Some women come with a temper.«

»You're lucky my temper isn't choking you already.« I press out between clenched teeth, turning on my heel and going for the door. Just before I close it behind me, I hear Coulson shout a »Departure in an hour, be ready!«

Walking back, I take several deep inhales not nearly as loud as my angry stamping, trying to calm my nerves down. It would do no good to lose it all right now, and yet, it is so hard to suppress the pressure with which the anger tries to break through the surface. But anger at whom? Coulson doesn't know. Romanoff doesn't know. Stark doesn't know. Nobody does, nobody who could prevent this change of work space, at least. I guess I'm just angry with the entire world, then. With destiny, if there really is such a thing which seems pretty likely currently. 

I feel my blood heating beneath my skin, starting to boil despite the hour of training I had right before this conversation. Fastening my pace, this does no good either. Everything it evokes is the rush of heat inside me getting fueled, my breath getting flatter, quicker. 

The second I reach my room, I slide down along the closed door, sitting down with my legs bent. Hands rubbing along my face, I try to fight it, but the wave of frustration and despair is too great to hold the tears back. They soon leave salty, crusty trails along my cheeks, and I wonder what it was that I did wrong for possibly deserving such an outcome. Why? Why would they send me right into the place I wanted to be least at in my entire life? I wanted to take him down, not all of them. Not with all of them around to protect him. What Captain America did to my mother is beyond ruthless, merciless, careless, but I had hoped to end him in the battle field and not face-to-face. Hatred fills every inch of my veins at the pure thought of him, and yet, I won't get my hands on him this way. It's not like I could simply sneak up in his bedroom and stab him in the back, although my fingers already itch at the mere thought.