Cherry || b.barnes

19 || Naturally

The chuckle playing around his lips almost strokes mine, the tickle his breath evokes nearly unnoticeable with the sudden contact of his forehead against mine. The skin there is softer than I expected, his warmth now actually physically transferring to me, and I feel heating, burning and burning and burning from this touch but it is still too cold to live. Like a word on my tongue that I must form coherently, or else the bomb would go off. But I don't get that word. 

»You never fail to surprise me, Nemesia« he purrs, every single word honored by merely be spoken with his voice. And my name, oh, my name out of this mouth that surely is talented in many ways, it just has to be. He maybe only ever said my real name once, just now, but I already know it's my favorite melody. Especially covered in this silkiness of his tone.

Lord, this is so twisted. What am I doing? What are we doing? I can't just go with him wherever this may lead to, I mean... he's my father's best friend. This is insane. This is a border I'm unwilling to cross. 

Still, my body seems to have a mind of its own. Instead of listening to my head, the tension in my fingers, cramping around the table's end, leaves, and they itch for reaching out to him. I don't know exactly what they're planning to do once they are at their goal, don't know how to act or move. I've never been in a situation like this. Of course, seducing men has been contained in one or the other mission, but doing it with feelings? That's a whole different story. I feel clumsier than I ever did in my life.

»Don't« James whispers the command, and it suddenly feels way too hot around me. The heat that collected in my chest is in sum moving downwards, and I have never experienced something so urgent yet so pleasant. So powerful, yet so tender. A diamond as breakable as porcelain. 

James's order confuses me, no matter if the reaction is delayed. My hands, almost having reached the place above his hips, shriek back hectically, and I know I blush, fearing I did something wrong. I know I should want this intimacy between us gone, this electric tautness in between us. But I just... don't.

»It's already hard enough not to rip off this silly bathrobe and take you right on that desk« he breathes then, and whatever I expected, it wasn't that. 

I liked it.

Or rather, a part of me liked it that hasn't spoken up my entire life till now. The tingle has reached my core, I can't deny it. But it makes me readjust my seating on the table, makes me try squeezing my legs together automatically. 

»That's« James says quietly, dangerously even, somehow raspy, closing his eyes in front of mine, nostrils flattering with a deep breath and his jaw clenched, »also not very helpful.«

»Helpful isn't exactly a word I would describe myself with« I finally answer him, finally get enough of myself together to at least find my voice. Maybe husky so, but at least, my voice. »And moreover, it's kind of unfair that you get to touch me but I'm denied reciprocating.«

He opens his eyes again, and I don't know how it's even possible, but they turned darker. Not more grey or more blue, just... darker. When he withdraws both his hands from my cheeks, his metallic hand already having absorbed my body heat, their left is almost as hurtful as a slap. Just that my skin now feels cold and burned, not hot and still burning. I'm caged sooner than later, one of his hands to my right, and one to my left, causing him to only be closer after all. 

Sandalwood and whiskey consume me, and I let them. Closing my eyes, I inhale his fragrance, so dominant and strong especially with this tormenting propinquity of ours.

Then, for the fracture of a second, I feel the same cold hitting my face as it did my cheeks seconds ago. It feels like something I needed to continue living was taken away from me, and I already sense my facial features hardening again when the warmth of his head appears somewhere else, making a shiver run through my entire body without him even touching me.