Starting Over

Chapter 37: High Heels

Chase and I made it Instagram official last night. There were mixed feelings about it from people, but do we look like we care?

I don't. I look like I just got told by the man of dreams that he is in love with me.

After I posted a picture of us of my Instagram and captioned it, Hi, Boyfriend I got several calls from my family. The family that disowned me. That I disowned myself from. I thought they didn't care.

I mean I was expecting a call from my father. He never cut me off. Like he threatened, so I bought Clarissa and Jake some very expensive fine China that had to be imported as a wedding gift.

"You know I don't think we should be wearing black to a rehearsal dinner." I inform Chase as I step out of the bathroom. "Zip me up please." I ask as I turn around in front of him. "Black is so for funerals." I say as I feel his fingers touch my bare back.

"I promise you everyone will be wearing black. Clarissa and Jake requested it." He says as he turns me around and gives me a kiss on my forehead. "Nice heels." He says looking down at my feet.

I swear it's the littlest things with this man, that make me fall for him.

My heels are red. I'm wearing red heels with a black dress.

"I've also never heard of a rehearsal dinner that invited all the quests. The only ones I've been to have had the wedding party."

"What can I say Clarissa and Jake are different?" He tells me as he passes me a tie.

"I'm glad I get to tie your ties."

"I've never been to such a fancy rehearsal dinner. This is North Carolina not New York why is it a black tie event. I mean the wedding is outside." Chase complains.

"Maybe your sister and Jake wanted that."

"They only planned the wedding. Jake's parents planned everything else." He tells me as we make our way downstairs.

I have to wear heels today because it is a black tie event. So right now I'm a little taller than Chase and I hate it.

Just like I hate heels.

They're uncomfortable and leave blisters on my feet. Skylar used to wear them too. To every party we would go to. We would wear matching heels. Matching outfits. Match our hair. I was wearing heels the night of the accident. She was the sister I never had. I miss my best friend.

High heels remind me of Skylar.

So I hate high heels.

I hate to wear them.

And I love when they give me blisters because it hurts. Knowing that she's never coming back hurts.

I used to only buy heels that give are uncomfortable and give people blisters. It just what I do, but I don't buy heels anymore. I don't want them either. It makes me feel better.

So I will wear heels that give me blisters. Blisters hurt. I will endure pain from something that I once loved because I know I can never love it again. I can never love heels. Skylar and I's thing was heels. Starting from the young age when you would wear the plastic heels with your favorite Princesses face on it.

She was always Belle and I was always Cinderella. Our personality matched the Princesses. Belle saw good in everyone. Skylar saw good in everyone just like Belle. I was always hidden away, never allowed to go to the fancy parties. Cinderella was always hidden away in her room, and never allowed out into the world and when she was she flourished. I'm flourishing.

"You okay?" Chase asks from the driver seat.

"I'm sorry what?"

"I asked if you were okay. You've been quiet the whole ride."

"I'm fine. I've just been thinking."

"About what?" He asks.

"How much I hate high heels." Chase isn't the prying type and sometimes you need somebody to pry. I want Chase to pry right now. I think it would make me feel better. So I continue anyway. "High heels give me good memories of Skylar. High heels were our thing. So anytime I wear them I think of good stupid memories."

I'm hurting on the inside. I shouldn't be hurting, but it's April. I'm in the month of April. I hate April. I hurt in April. My head hurts in April.

"I thought you didn't wear heels because they made you taller than everyone else. Now that I know why you don't wear them, don't you think you should wear them for her. Would it make her happy to know you are wearing heels?" He asks as he pulls the truck into a parking spot.

His question is still on my mind as we take our seat at a table after greeting everyone.

"Do you know why I'm wearing red heels?" I question.

"I don't know. I assumed it's a fashion trend."

"My eighteenth birthday." I take a sip of champagne. "Skylar got these heels for her seventeenth birthday. I thought they were beautiful. I was jealous. Skylar had the perfect life. She knew I loved them and I had given up playing for my dream school for her so she bought me a pair for my eighteenth birthday."

That's how we started matching heels. We had already matched clothes.

"These heels were expensive. She never told me how much, but she spend her whole allowance on them and that says a lot. Her allowance was high. After the accident I threw away all of my heels away. I couldn't stand the sight of the one thing that was our thing. This was the only pair I kept. This red pair is the only pair I own. So I guess I sorta kinda wear heels for her when I do wear heels."

Before he has the chance to respond or say anything at all. People sit down at our table.

My hatred for high heels runs deep. I hate high heels with everything in me. I will always hate high heels.

They will always be the enemy.

April 30th is soon. I don't know what's going to happen that day to me. I just know I'm gonna be sad.

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4/3/22 at 8:46pm

Not edited!