Starting Over

Chapter 31: Movie Night

                                    Chase
"So how did the date go?" Ethan asks approaching me in the locker room.

"It went really good."

"So she's your girlfriend?"

"No. I mean not yet. We're taking things slow and agreed not to tell the group, for awhile. We just want to see where this goes." I tell him.

"I give it a week." He tells me.

"I'm actually going to her place tonight. Nicole and Loren are going to something with some girl in one of there classes. We're just gonna watch movies."

"I'm going to Cary to see Gracie and her family. So I'll see you at practice."

"Alright bye."

We lost March Madness. We lost to Wisconsin. Coach wants to keep practice going though so we will. It's pouring outside. "You know what they say Jackson, April showers bring May flowers." One of the freshmen says as he makes a run for it to his car.

Today is April 2nd. I hate April. I don't get to play basketball in April. I just have to go to classes. Now I just have to wait until November.

The worst feeling in the world is losing and I lost. It was an away game too. My family wasn't there to comfort me. I didn't have my mom. I didn't have Taylor either. I had no friends there. They didn't make the drive up. They had classes and Wisconsin was ranked number two. Nobody believed in us I don't even think we believed in us.

I have three hours until I get to go see Taylor. Three long hours.

My dad called me yesterday. He was telling me how all these NBA scouts were watching us. He didn't tell me I did good or he was proud of me. Hayden's dad called me.

He told me I did good and that he was proud of me.

That's the difference between Bradley Jackson and Steven Caperall one cares about more than his sons stats, he cares about his happiness.

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It's been three hours and I'm currently sitting on Taylor's couch drinking Miller Lite.

"I thought I'd be happy following directly in my father's footsteps, but I'm not. He wants me to apply for the draft my junior year. He wants me to play for the same NBA team he played for. He wants me to get a degree in business so I have it to fall back on."

"I hear a lot of he wants. What about what you want." She asks and it hits me.

"Nobody's ever asked me that before." I admit. "I want to wait it out. I want to enjoy college. Maybe I don't want a degree in business because I don't even know what it would get me. I want to do something meaningful in life along with basketball."

"You should tell him."

"He wouldn't agree. He wouldn't listen."

"Who knows, people might surprise you."

"Yeah, people not my father. My father is a my way or the high way kinda man."

"So what are you gonna do now that the  basketball season is over?"

"Figure out my future I guess. I mean I know what I want. I just have to go for it. I'm also gonna spend time with people who matter to me. Like you. What about you?"

"What do you mean, what about me? I'm not a basketball star. I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing. Trying to pass my classes."

"So does this count as a second date?" I ask.

"No! We haven't even picked out a movie yet. It could if we pick out a movie."

"My go to movie is always The Titanic." I confess to Taylor and she looks like she might murder me.

"That movie is so long. I love the movie, but no."

"Grease?"

"No."

"Footloose?"

"No."

After about twenty minutes of going back and forth on movie ideas. We finally settled for Remember the Titans.

"Don't fall asleep on me like you did last time." She reminds.

I fell asleep during The Goonies. I mean who does that? One of the best movies and you fall asleep.

"If you fall asleep during this movie we can't be friends."

Friends?

"Friends don't kiss. May I add multiple times." I point out to her and she just gives me a look.

"Then what are we?" I was not expecting that question.

"I don't know. What do you want to be?"

"Chase, I can't be the one making all the moves here. I think I made it very clear how I feel about you. We've both admitted that we're not good at relationships or dating or whatever this is, but we can't just continue like this. I can't continue like this. Not knowing where your heads at."

Here I go.

Here goes nothing.

"Every relationship I've ever been in has failed because of me. Because I pour my heart out to a girl and she doesn't love me back. It happened with Erin and it happened with Leah. I'm scared if I tell you that I think about you twenty-four seven, you're in my dreams, and that every room, every party I go to I look for you, that you'll get scared of the mutual feeling and run away because that's what everyone does. And that feeling sucks." I just confessed one of my fears. Being alone. Having no one.

"I'm still here. I haven't run yet and I don't plan too. I'm just as scared as you. I've never had this feeling before with anyone. I've never walked into a room and looked at someone and instantly felt safe, but for some reason I do with you."

"What does this mean?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out. What I have figured out though is that we need to watch a movie to consider this a movie date." She says changing the subject.

Taylor and I have this weird connection. It's more than a romantic one. It's an emotional one. I can go to her and have this deep and meaningful conversation and then we can make jokes thirty seconds later. We're ourselves around each other. We feel safe around each other, like we are allowed to be ourself. Because in the world we live in being ourself isn't allowed.

We also have a deeper understanding and connection of each other. I don't know what this is. This feeling inside every time I'm around her. I get this feeling in my stomach. It's not nerves.
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Published: 3/23/22 at 10:59pm

Not edited!