Embers From Within (Casa Fuego Series #6)

Chapter 36

Fervor 

I understand why he got mad at me. Yet again, I was wrong for trying to approach Caspian in the middle of the frenzy crowd.

Nakikita ko sa kanyang mga mata ang pagsisisi sa naging reaksyon niya. Aminado ako sa sarili kong hindi na naman ako nakapag-isip nang maayos. Pero hindi ko masabi sa kanya iyon. Not that I don't want to, but because I'm just out of words after our heated argument.

I practically told him I can't date Caspian or anyone else for that matter – who isn't him. I just find comfort in the thought that I didn't specifically said that I can't because... it's still him. Sana isipin na lang niya na nasabi ko iyon dahil narito kami sa arrangement na ito.

He sighed softly. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. Nadala lang ako ng emosyon dahil marami-rami rin kasing guests ang nakakita sa 'yong nilapitan siya at marami ang nagtanong sa akin tungkol doon."

Pagkatapos ng sagutan namin kanina, wala nang nangahas na magsalita sa aming dalawa at tanging mabibigat na paghinga lamang ang ingay na naririnig. Hanggang sa kalaunan, bumitiw ako sa pagkahahawak sa kanyang dibdib at niyaya na siyang umuwi.

Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na ayos lang. Na kasalanan ko rin naman. Pero walang salitang lumalabas sa bibig ko. I honestly thought this whole show would be easy and casual, and just pure business. The only stress I was expecting to come from was in making sure that the Guazanos won't find out about our scheme. But I was wrong.

I'm stressed out. I'm all confused. I'm in denial. And it's not because of the Guazanos but because of my own feelings that keep getting in the way. All these blazing sensations I feel for him overpowers my strict intention to make this just about lifting the burden of guilt.

Gusto kong matawa sa sarili. Paanong halos magsi-sixteen years old pa lang ako, gusto ko na siya. Wala na akong ibang lalaki na nagustuhan kundi siya. Paanong noong naghiwalay kami at nakayanan ko namang mag-isa sa loob ng apat na taon, ngayong nagbalik siya sa buhay ko, sa kanya pa rin naghaharumentado ang puso ko. Every inch of my being cheers for him. Every bit of my being longs for him.

All these feels like during the past four years, my heart just went on hiatus from love. It stopped beating for love, and has gone idle like the embers of a dying fire. Its flames died down a little, but never lost its potential to blaze fire again. But when he came back, it sensed home nearby and now it won't stop thumping hard against my chest, as if it wants me to hear it and if I listen closely and intentionally, it begs to go back home. Like the dying fire was fueled and now its flames are blazing again.

I sighed in relief when the car parked at the entrance of the condominium. Tinatanggal ko pa lang ang seatbelt ko ay agad na niya akong napagbuksan ng pinto. Nagkatinginan kami. Agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin at bumaba na ng sasakyan. I thought that was the end of this torture of a night but he spoke before I could even walk three steps away from him.

"I'll walk you upstairs," he said.

Umiiling na ako sa kanya kalagitnaan pa lang ng sinasabi dahil nagsimula na siyang maglakad. Nalagpasan pa nga niya ako. Nilingon niya ako nang hindi ako naglakad kasunod niya.

"You've been quiet the whole night. You spaced out countless of times tonight, Therese. So I'm gonna walk you upstairs," he said in a demanding tone that won't take no for an answer.

Nang hindi pa rin ako sumunod ay hinawakan na niya ang palapulsuhan ko at marahang hinila papasok ng building. Binitawan niya lang ako nang nakapasok na kami sa elevator. Mabuti na lang at may nakasabay kaming matanda kaya hindi kami napag-isa roon.

The elevator opened for the old lady's floor. But before she stepped out of it, she turned to us and smiled.

"You two make a good couple," she smiled again before the door closed.