Syn's Random Thoughts

;Today

Today was one of those difficult days.

It all started when I had a nightmare about something I was afraid would happen.

Until I suddenly overthought it.

It's funny because my mind was clouded while I was walking outside to buy isaw.

I can't put it in words

But I was shaking, I wanted to cry.

I tried not to think about it cause I'm outside but I just can't push it aside.

As I was ordering the isaw I can't help but held my tears and wish for it to not fall.

My mind was telling me "No syn, nasa labas ka, relax"

But I can't. Little by little tears were forming.

I tried to distract myself, I looked around and enjoyed the presence of everyone.

I even saw someone campaigning which, made me a little happy.

But, once I got home. Tears fell one by one.

I was scared, I needed a hug.

So I sent a voice message to my love. Explaining the reason why I was overthinking.

She's asleep at that time.

Habang kwenekwento ko sakanya, I can't help but think about the scenarios.

It's a damn battle between my conscience and my ignorance.

My mind says;

Come on, say it to them

Are you sure ready kana?

Is it really time to actually fight for the battle?

Are you willing to wait?

It's self torture, kakayanin ko ba?

How will I live without her?

Lahat yan naisip ko. Habang unti Unti tumutulo luha ko.

I was scared, I have friends who experienced having a forbidden love.

I was afraid that if I finally tell my parents they will do the same.

If I did I might lose her.

Though, we are both willing to follow their rules and decisions.

I just know I wasn't ready for it.

When she woke up, she assured me. Yet my mind was still battling me.

She told me that, if you are ready then let's do it.

I told her " am I?"

We tried to talk about the things that we will prepare. We talked about negative things that might occur.

But at the back of my mind, I was hoping. Hoping that those things that I thought won't happen.

Until after some talking I was certain. We will finally fight the battle.

A battle between our love and my parents.

Not now but maybe soon, kapag handa na kami.

It's funny cause its our day today, yet here we are thinking about things like this.

Today was supposed to be a happy day, but i guess its just another normal and rough day.

How about you? Kamusta araw mo?

-syn

- ik I have some friends here that's reading this. I'm fine, I can't talk about it yet and I want to forget about it for now. I will open it up to you once me and her is ready. That's all, another random thought for today's chapter.