Syn's Random Thoughts

;I graduated,

Hi, I graduated High school.

So where do i start this, hello everyone im syn. A 15 year old writer who loves writing random things. Ang tagal ko din hindi nakapagsulat sa librong ito, probably because I've been worried, scared and nervous. There are lots of things that I am grateful for,r which i will say later on but for now lets talk about other things.

Isa sa rason kung bakit ang tagal ko nagupload, gumawa ng mga bagong storya, tula at iba pa dahil sa graduation ko. I am the first daughter, or panganay sa family namin. And with that madaming expectations, malaki yung pressure and nakaka stress. Ever since bata pa ako, my family always reminds me that I should be on the honor list or have a grade point average of 90 or above. Because of that, I always feel pressured, my perfectionist side is always there, and my disappointments are more painful. Yung feeling na 85 is already a high grade but pati ikaw hindi satisfied kasi natatakot ka sa dissapointments nila, sa expectations nila and sa mga sabihin nila. So i strived, and im thankful that i survived. Mahirap man pero nakayanan ko, i survived. I graduated high school with honors, but there's still a side of me that's not satisfied.

Before my graduation, i stayed at my grandparents' house for at least2 weeks. At first hindi ko alam bakit ayoko umuwi sa bahay pero as time went by, I realized it. And that was because I was running from reality. I was trying to escape. Them, I was trying to run away from them. Because i guess for me, even if masabi nila sayo na "As long as pasado ka oky na, masaya kami etc" alam mo sa sarili mo na there's a part of them that wishes "sana honor ka, sana ganyan ganyan" so i got scared. I tried distracting myself from the thought na malapit na ako grumaduate, ibig sabihin baka mababa grade ko, baka madissapoint sila. I focused on the negative side or thoughts that could happen on my graduation. Kahit isang positive thought hindi ko naisip. Dumating pa ako sa point na cinalculate ko grades ko to make sure that i have a grade that will satisfy them and also satisfy myself.

Gets ko naman kung bakit mahalaga din sakanila ito. Im also a scholar from our city, so dun palang malaking responsibilidad na yung pagkakaroon ng maayos na grade dahil importante yung requirement na yon para sa scholarship. That's why i was anxious, dahil madaming tao yung umaasa saakin, madaming taong naka abang saakin. Kaya pati ako, natakot, so i ran away from it. Until dumating yung araw na malapit na ako grumaduate. So i went home and waited for that day where all of my thoughts might come true. But i was wrong, mali yung mga naisip kong thoughts, yung pagtakbo ko pala sa realidad wala lang din pala kasi i made them proud.

I succeeded their expectations even though may part padin sakanila na gusto pa na mas mataas, well my mom atleast. Si daddy sabi nya "masaya na siya dyan, with honor ka and proud ako" ganun din naman si mama pero kita ko parin sakanya na may konting part na may gusto pa siya. Kahit naman ako, but still masaya ako kasi ng payoff na yung breakdowns ko, stress ko and more. Kahit papaano i finished one of the races that i have to finish, and i do know na madami pang pagsubok hanggang sa makarating ako sa finish line. Atleast now, im one step closer to achieving what i dreamed.

Alam ko na simula palang ito ng pagharap ko sa future, another chapter of my life. So to future syn, if you are reading this i don't know after 5 years? 10 years? 20? Lol, know that; You did a good job of making your family proud. You did your best to achieve what you could and are aware that you will have more successes in the future, but you may also make mistakes. Because you are not perfect, but you are doing your best. Always remember that mistakes are not the end of your career, and failing does not mean everything that you worked hard for will be over. Trust yourself, and study hard. Remember that, yung mga bagay na ginagawa mo ay para sayo. And wag mong kakalimutan na laging ilapag padin sa sahig yung paa mo, dont step on others and continue being humble, and a happy person. Because staying true to what you are is already a success what more if na abot mo lahat ng gusto mo and you stayed as the humble, loving person that you are when you started working hard for your dream. Never give up on what you believe, love and dream. It will not be easy, so ready yourself and prepare to survive in order to achieve what you want in the future.

This also could be for all of you, I'm happy that there are people who supports me, and loves me. I am very thankful. Im thankful for my friends who helped me to survive, to the people that stayed with me through my hardest moment in my academics/ life; and to people who helped me with my homework, pt, and more even sa support. Im thankful, kung wala kayo siguro una palang sumuko na ako sa acads ko hahha. I hope one day ma pay off ko din yung help na binigay nyo . To my classmates and batchmates, thankyou sa mga source na pinagpapasahan natin ,lahat tuloy tayo with honors chariz. That's all , congrats self. You did great!

This is syn from batch 2021- 2022 officially signing off as a jouaqiunian.

I will try my best to put out new stories, poems and more , thank you for being my readers

.syn