𝗕𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲, 𝗕𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 - 𝗔 𝗥𝗶𝗻𝗶 𝗔𝗨

1 | I Tʜɪɴᴋ I Kɪɴᴅᴀ Dᴏɴ'ᴛ Kɴᴏᴡ

𝐍𝐢𝐧𝐢

Nothing went how I planned.

We were in my room chatting and laughing. I'd been waiting for the right time to show Ricky the video for hours now and I knew this might be my last chance.

I took a deep breath and said, "Check your Instagram." He gave me that lopsided smile that always makes my heart flutter.

"What? Okay..." he replied suspiciously.

Ricky pulled out his phone and opened Instagram. He turned up the sound and the video started playing.

"Happy almost-one-year anniversary baby! I, uh, I wrote this for you." Ricky looked at me questioningly.

"Just watch it!" I said playfully.

"I'm watching," he replied, looking back at his phone.

"So much has happened
Think of what we've done
In the time that the Earth
Has travelled 'round the Sun Winter, spring, summer And we're back to fall We've been together Hand-in-hand through it all. "  

I put my head on Ricky's shoulder and watched.

Normally, I don't like looking at my performances. All I can ever see is what I did wrong. But this one was different. I had written and rewritten the lyrics a million times and I was sure about them. I had to stop myself from singing as we watched.

"From the minute we kissed and my heart skipped a beat
To the night that we danced, I was swept off my feet
Sure is every year has to come to an end
I'd go spinnin' 'round the Sun with you again and again and again and again!
I think I kinda, you know
I think I kinda, you know
Like the way that we flow
Like the way that we go
And I love
I think I kinda, you know
I think I kinda, you know
I think I kinda, you know, you know, you know."

I felt Ricky's shoulders tense when he heard that line. I didn't know why, but I assumed he was surprised and... well, I'm not quite sure what I thought. I realize now that I should have been looking at his face the whole time. Just to see his reaction clearer.

"Can't help dreamin' of you
Guess I'm sayin' I don't not love you
You know, you know, you know."

The video ended and Ricky turned off his phone. I smiled at him. "I do Ricky. I love you." And I meant it. Every memory, possibility, chance, hope, dream—all of it.

I waited. He said nothing—no. Not nothing. Worse than nothing.

"Oh," he replied in a whisper.

I was surprised that he couldn't hear my heart shatter.

"Oh?" I managed. I couldn't believe it. I think I would have been happier if he'd said "Sorry Nini. I never really liked you. Bye," and left.

But "oh"? I'm surprised I was able to look him in the eye after that.

Finally, he met my gaze. "Yeah, I... It's just..." he sighed. "That's a really big thing to post online."

That was his excuse? I mean yes, I could have done it in person, but I've always been nervous singing in front of an audience. Besides, I wanted this to be special.

During my silence, Ricky had been looking down and seemed embarrassed. No, not embarrassed... Was he feeling guilty?

"Look, um..."

Ricky looked up at me and for a moment I saw the boy I met in kindergarten. Funny and daring but also sweet and shy. I saw the Ricky I fell in love with.