Syn's Deep In My Blood - Book 2

She Looks to Me

'Looks to me like heaven sent
no lullaby kid no five percent
Anyway you wanna cut that cake
She's dying from the likes of abandonment'

Warmness. Light crossing my eyelids as I still hadn't opened them. Only sounds of birds singing around. I was moving but not really walking.

Warmness...

Is this heaven? Cause it truly felt like it despite the awful pain in my head.

First, I refused to open my eyes. Maybe I should just enjoy that peaceful moment of being taken away in the arms of an angel. But when I inhaled the air profoundly, that particular scent penetrating my nostrils made my eyes open up slowly.

Oh, good lord, it wasn't an angel, but he sure looked like one and smelled like one. That perfect thin jawline. Those warm hands and arms rubbing in my skin. That breath blowing heavily on my face. His heart pounding fast on me.

Then I remembered I just couldn't do it. I couldn't push the damn plunger. I was still alive. But now, it didn't matter too much anyway. Those arms wrapped around me were the strongest shield that I knew against my own suicidal thoughts. If I was alive, I couldn't be in a better place.

"How'd you... find me?" I could only drawl, my lips felt numb, and my mouth was as dry as a desert.

"God, you're awake... You scared the hell out of me." he gazed down at my face and sighed heavily. I let my eyes close again, and my head fall on his shoulder. My nose found a perfect place to brush in on his neck. He never ceased his walking. "I have no idea how I found you. I just did."

"Where are you taking me?" I moved my hand to his neck and started tugging at his longish hair softly.

"I'm just trying to find a damn cab, so I can take you to a hospital. You had an OD. And you have blood in your head."

"What? No, Brian, I didn't OD! I just... overdid it a little." he clearly didn't know what an OD looks like.

"Overdose, overdid, is the same for me." he sounded as serious as I'd never seen before.

"You can't take me to the hospital, Brian. They'll give me a lot of stuff I don't need, will admit me to the psychic ward, and then... straight to rehab. I know the rules; I've been there before. They won't help me." I got desperate.

"Maybe that's what you need..."

I had no strength, but I rose up my head anyway. He got me pissed.

"You asshole, you cheated on me! How am I supposed to react?"

"I didn't cheat on you!! We're not together, remember that? You were perfectly clear to me when you said you chose him." now it was his time to get unsettled.

Yeah, he was right. But there was some info I think he still didn't know.

"He broke up with me..."

It was probably early in the morning, the streets were so quiet, and the killer silence between us was established after my sentence. I was hoping he'd have something to say, but I was wrong.

"I can walk, Brian. I'm okay now. Just... put me on the ground, please." his eyes checked on me for a while, mistrustful.

"You're really light, no problem for me."

"I'm fine. Really."

He stopped and placed my legs down on the floor, close to a wall. When I thought I could walk steadily, my legs were rigid as a rock, and I had to bend on the wall not to have my knees failing on me. I had no idea my body was still so heavy, so I got really embarrassed. I wouldn't ask him to carry me again.