Syn's Deep In My Blood - Book 2

Scar Tissue

"What if... what if he just won't discharge me? What if he wants to lock me here forever?" I asked Zack, dressed and ready to get the hell out of that hospital room as soon as possible, anxious just like the first time I met him.

"If you be honest with him and tell him you're okay now, he has no reason to keep you here. You just gotta tell him the truth, baby." Zack sounded so calm, and he wasn't calming me at all like that.

Then a knock on the door made us both look there. It was probably him. The psychiatrist. Damn... My hands are soaked.

"I'll be waiting outside." He pecked my lips, and I sat on the bed, keeping his taste in my mind. I wish he could stay. "Don't worry, Jay. I love you." He held my hand tight one last time, winked at me, and went to the door, letting it show a tall young man with no white lab coat and no stethoscope, just a suit, like a businessman.

"Hello, I'm here to evaluate miss Lockhart. I'm the psychiatrist." he smiled at Zack and then at me. Wow, his eyes shone so brightly.

What the hell are you thinking, Jess? He's your doctor, woman!

Zack didn't smile back; I saw him frowning instead. "Call me if you need anything." He went out, still glancing with jealousy at the tall man that was about to be alone with me, and closed the door.

"Hi, I'm doctor Barnett." He walked closer to me and showed me his hand. I was still looking at his face, so I took a little while to reach for it. Why was I so slow this morning? "You've been here for three days, right?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Have you thought about committing suicide again?" My eyes opened wide to his question. Wow, so direct. I wasn't expecting that yet.

"Well, I... no, not really. I just thought about the suicide I've already tried to commit. That counts?" I snorted a chuckle, but he kept his serious composure.

"You just tried to make a joke... that's a good sign." He smiled a little but then narrowed his eyes, like analyzing my soul. "Do you think you're still a danger to yourself, Miss Lockhart?"

"No, I just wanna get out of here and start my life again." I hoped he would believe me.

"Are you sure? Cause my superiors wanted me to admit you into the psychiatry ward after analyzing your case. But I hate to go against the patient's will or their will. Should I take the risk with you? Are you gonna show up here with another OD or cut wrists later today?"

The coldness of his words and the soft tone he wore brought reality to me again. I wasn't the same person I was before that day. But I had no idea if I would ever want to try that again or not. I was just living day by day, trying not to think about the future that much.

I gulped dry and moved my eyes from the floor back to his face.

"No, I'm not planning to show up here again. My boyfriend and my closest friend are back in town, so... I'm good." I didn't know what else to say. He was just a stranger to me. I couldn't say anything more personal than that.

He nodded, and silence fell for a while as he kept gazing at me deeply.

"Alright. I'm gonna discharge you, but it's my job to suggest therapy sessions for your own safety. Here's the number from a psychologist I know. He's very good. I advise you to go see him as soon as possible." He sounded like the caring type now while handing me the card. A weird and sudden change of mood. "Any questions?"

"Nope. Am I free to go now?" I was almost biting my nails out to hear his answer.
"I'm gonna send the discharge papers to the front desk, and after a while, someone will come here and will set you free, don't worry." He grinned charmingly and showed me his hand again. Then he just wrote something on the charge in his hands and opened the door to go out. "Bye, Miss Lockhart. Stay safe." I just nodded.