Oneshots of John lock<3

Voicemails, (bbc)

Sherlock Holmes had jumped off of the hospital almost a year ago, John tried not to let his life be reminded by the days he'd run across the streets with his lover. Though some days, some days he couldn't help but feel his heart throb mournfully.

This cold Saturday evening happened to be one of those days, as the rain pattered against the windows.

John had his palm pressed over his mouth, he was hunched on his armchair glancing at his phone positioned delicately on the glass table. He promised himself it was the last time his did this numerous months ago, though he failed keeping that promise to himself. He unlocked it, swiping to the phone app to open voicemails. He didn't receive many these days, maybe a couple from Mycroft to check in, or Greg inviting him to some crappy case he no longer wanted involvement with. He usually just deleted them after a couple days.
Though, after a few carful swipes the name, 'sherl' was listed numerous times. He smiled through the pain, he missed seeing these pop up every couple hours. They were about anything, stupid things such as arguments to case updates. Anything really. John smiled, clicking on one of the earlier voice messages, dating a few years back.

"Hello John, you didn't pick up my call, again. But er, I was wondering if we could grab some fish and chips tonight, so uh. Call me back. Iloveyou." John smiled, hearing his lovers voice made his chest feel 10 times lighter. The next one automatically played.

"John! John!! I know your at work, so don't get mad at me for being inconsiderate. But I just figured out the case with the family murder! Please leave work, I want you to be there when I announce it. Loveyou." His voice was rushed with adrenaline, pure excitement over a murder. It wasn't considered normal, but when was sherlock ever normal?

"I know people do this face to face, but I feel like that would be awkward. I'm inviting you to dinner tonight, whether you show up is up to you. I know I upset you and I'm sorry, yes. I'm sorry. Don't smile, you haven't won. Though uh.. meet me at that fancy place with the carpet. You won't know the name. I love you." To be able to see sherlock again that night, he was dressed so nicely at the restaurant. A black suit with a tie, his hair freshly washed and completely clean of drugs.

"I want to kiss you. I really want to kiss you, I know we've kissed numerous of times but I'd appreciate a kiss. Come downstairs. Love you." To be able to kiss sherlock again, his soft lips pressed against his own. A Moment when reality didn't feel as harsh. johns heart just hurt more and more the further the messages continued.

"John, where are you? I er, I messed up. I relapsed I'm sorry, please don't be angry. You'd notice anyway so id like to tell you myself. I love you." The fragile voice was rarely used by the detective, though when it was you knew something was very, very wrong.

"You've changed me John Watson. I'm 'fraid you've made me sappier, but I'll live. I've got 'ou after all. Am I drunk? A lil. But we don't need to talk about that. See you t'oon. Love you loads." A few dry laughs exited johns lips, his lips twitched up to form a smile. He still loved the thought of the detective.

John let the messages run for the next 30 minutes, tears stained his cheeks as he continued to mourn his lover. It's been a year he kept repeating to himself, he had to move on. He just wanted his lover back, was that too much to ask? Maybe it was, maybe he needed to accept it.