Hailee Steinfeld (One Shots)

Emily Dickinson 4

Emily's POV

It's been two weeks since I last met Y/n at Sue and my brother's party. She hasn't been to my house one day and it's always Lavinia who goes to her house to spend time with her.

So she don't have to stop by our house and see me. I tried to go to her house to talk to her, but I don't know where her house is and I don't want to ask Vini or Sue ; because they would ask.

They will want to know why I am asking about her house and what I want to talk to her about. But I don't want to tell you that Y/n disappeared from the party because I admitted not remembering her and because of the argument we had.

Lavinia warned me from the beginning not to tell her, to act as if I knew her and to avoid at all costs admitting my lack of memories with or of her. Even when Sue found out about my memory loss, she suggested that I follow my sister's plan and not tell her the truth.

So if either of them finds out I argued with her and ended up telling her the truth, they'll kill me. I'm not entirely sure if Sue would kill me, but the one I'm sure would kill me is Lavinia.

My sister expressed to me the importance of not telling her, since Y/n held me in such a esteem and told me that when we were children she adored me. That's why I couldn't tell her, because it would hurt her a lot to know that I didn't remember her and that's exactly what ended up happening.

I feel incredibly guilty about it, I am not able to write feeling the anguish in my chest and the continuous emptiness due to a longing that I do not fully understand.

Besides that since my publication in the newspaper and the delivery of all my poems to Samuel, I have not been able to write a single thing. My mind is blank, the words no longer flow and I feel like a dry water well.

So I'm completely attacked, lost even and I don't know what to do to get out of this misfortune. My mother had even taken us to a spa to relax and try to make me feel better. But it hardly had any effect on me. The only good thing about that trip was seeing my friend George again.

Adding to all my problems, I think in a ghostly way I saw as Sue ; my Sue , had sex with Samuel. I don't understand how she could do something like that to me, after everything we've been through together and almost forcing me to have feelings for him.

Betrayed would be saying little for how I feel. My whole world collapses and I can't stop thinking about Sue and Samuel having sex, and the image of the little girl bleeding.

I'm sure that image is a memory, a memory of Y/n and how she got the scar on her eyebrow. But I can't check with anyone first because I don't know where Y/n and I doubt she'll want to talk to me, second because Lavinia asked me more about how the memory came to me, and lastly, I'm not going to ask Sue anything .

Lavinia: Are you okay? - she asks me taking me out of my thoughts and calling my attention.

Emily: Yeah, just that I was thinking and stuff.- i shrugged it off by looking at her. -Where are you going ? - I ask confused to see her ready to leave the house.

Lavinia: Where are we going, you mean?- she answers somewhat confused.

Emily: I don't understand what you mean by we.- I comment and she looks at me like I'm stupid.

Lavinia: It's the baptism of Jane's son.- She reminds me and I pat myself on the forehead.

Emily: I had forgotten.- I whisper, exhaling hard. -But it doesn't matter at all because I'm not going, I don't feel good to go and pretend interest in something as simple as a baptism.- I assure her, getting up from my desk and approaching her.