the difference

Chapter Twenty-one

Evelyn sat up against the headboard before welcoming William into her arms "Why don't you tell me what's wrong? I'm sure I can help in some way"

"I can't lose you..." Tears had actually started to form in William's eyes now "You mean too much to me..."

She kissed the top of his head and squeezed him tightly "I'm not leaving you...come on look at me handsome man"

William shook his head and nuzzled into her breasts and held onto her "I-I can't lose you, that's why I can't say that word you want"

"I don't need to hear that you love me, you've showed me on more than one occasion" She smiled and brushed her fingers over his hairline "You're enough"

"It's not...you deserve to know everything"

"wait until morning, your shaking and your voice is indicating that your drowsy" Evelyn tilted his chin up and kissed him softly "I'll be here all evening" William nodded slightly before curling up against her "I love you"

~~~

Once dawn broke, Evelyn awoke to the familiar mass of William's body next to hers. She had her hand in his hair, probably from stroking it all evening in an attempt to soothe him. William let out a small huff of air and huddled closer towards her "Muffin you're my only sunshine, my only sunshine" She smiled and kissed his temple before laying back down. William stirred slightly before mumbling something that was inaudible. Evelyn just rubbed his back and kissed his hairline "Wake up Will" she smiled as she watched how he sleepily lifted his head.

"I'm sorry...I-I"

"Shh it's alright" She smiled and tilted his chin up "I'm here for you" William nodded slightly before leaning his head against her breast once again "You shouldn't feel that you can't show emotion"

"I'm a man-"

"you still have emotions" she smiled and lightly scratched at his chin "Come, you can tell me what's wrong"

"You won't leave will you?"

"No...I'll not leave"

William sat up and leant against the headboard "many years ago when I was Eighteen and I considered myself to be in love, her name was Penny Mathen and I thought that she shared my affections up until two years ago. I received a letter stating that she was married to Adam Tavington, my little brother"

"she didn't deserve you"

"Then there was Caroline" William shook his head and looked down at his hands "We met just weeks after I received that letter from Penny, she offered herself to me and I took the opportunity" he looked over to Evelyn and took her hands into his "I fell in love with her but then she practically raped me to get a child"

"So the little one at their manor was yours?"

"I was happy initially, but then she dismissed my men from the household, she never wrote or asked if I wanted a life with my son"

"why did you bed her again?"

"she manipulated me and made it feel like I was in control" William took in a shaky breath and squeezed her hands "I'm sorry for hurting you..."

"shh you couldn't hurt me" She hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek "You are enough for me and I am not leaving you"

"then I met a perfect young woman, who's name is Evelyn" He smiled and playfully straddled her "who is rather beautiful, intelligent and adorable"

Evelyn patted his thigh and looked up at him with a smile "You're heavy" she tried to sit up but he softly pushed her back down with one hand "And strong"