Seasons of Love by Jaismita Alexander

Seasons of Love Part 1

Part one:

January 8, 2014:

*Beep beep*

Two text messages

Nautanki (12:00 am, 8 Jan)

"Happy Birthday Doraemon. I wish you live thousand years more. Keep smiling. Keep working hard. I want to see you on Headlines Today.

With lots of love,

Your Nautanki. "

Tania (12:00 am, 8 Jan)

" To my dearest Teddy...I hope I am the first one to wish you. So Happy Birthday. Many many happy returns of the day. Keep shopping. Keep eating and keep smiling. Muah :*"

It was my eighteenth birthday morning and two of my best friends wished me before anyone did. I read the messages in the morning and smiled. Quickly I opened my spam box to check if there was any other messages. But there was none.

Dad was up and he had already finished preparing my tiffin. I got up faking a smile to him when he wished me. For some reasons my birthday wasn't a 'happy' birthday this time.

"Happy Birthday, Shehnaya!", yelled my twelve year old brother as he entered my room with a present wrapped carefully with a ribbon. I smiled at him too as he handed over to me my gift.

Mom shouted out from the next room, "Did she get up or not? She has to get ready for school."

As usual, her duty was to keep a check on my punctuality. She didn't even spare me on my birthday. Somehow I got ready and left for school. I knew probably today I am going to have fun in class. I knew my friends would not let this day be boring. As soon as I entered school, I saw Anu and Sree come running towards me. Sree shouted, "Happy Birthday Moti!!!". I gave her a hug. Anu, as usual came jogging as she could hardly run. Her thin legs were too weak to even carry her skeletal like body. She hugged wishing me. The others came one by one and wished me. Tani looked straight into my eyes. Her eyes directly asked me the most personal question. I guessed what it was. I tried to ignore her and went to the class.

Teachers came in, taught and left. Some wished me after being informed by my classmates. Almost everyone came upto me and wished with a smile. All I could do was, smile back and say a 'Thank you'. Birthday for me was not that special enough. I sat quietly while my partner cum bestie, Shivani aka Nautanki kept on humming songs one after the other. That was her hobby. It was a free period and everyone was busy writing down notes. I had nothing to do except to think how boring the day was. Tania, was someone who understood my irritation. She called me out. I went with her, thinking what to answer her as I knew what she was going to ask.

"Yeah say", I said.

"What happened? Didn't he message you?", she asked.

"Message? Ah, no. He never asked me when my birthday is in these six months.", I replied.

She looked down thinking something and said, "You must be joking. He will message you. You see. I think he will. Come on. He is the one who requests you to go back to him. He claims to love you. He says that he needs you and today he'll not wish you? Can't be."

I smiled and said, "He doesn't have the emotional connection with me. He knows he needs a girlfriend to flaunt. A girl to claim as his girlfriend. That's it. He has never asked me what are my likes and dislikes are."

Tania looked into my eyes and asked, "Why did you get into a relationship with him in the first place. You never loved him."

"You know how much it hurts to be in one sided love, right? I have been through it for about two years. I promised myself to not fall in love with a person who doesn't love me back. When he proposed me, I thought he truly loves me. Boys, duh, they are such good liars.", I looked away as tears touched my cheeks.

She kept her hand on my shoulder and said, "Come on. You will find someone better. Don't be upset on your birthday atleast. He doesn't deserve your tears."

I wiped my cheeks and entered the class. The whole day I remained silent thinking how lonely I am. I remember my cousin celebrating her birthday with her lover. He had prepared for lunch, made hand made cards and in the evening he organised a party for her. In my slam book my cousin had mentioned that day as her best memories. I desired nothing of that sort, but only wished a message from him. Not because he was my boyfriend, but to see if he really cared for me or not. After I broke up, he messaged almost everyday requesting me to patch up. Even yesterday there was a message from him. But I knew he didn't know its my birthday. He never bothered so much.

I went back home. There was lunch ordered from my favourite Chinese restaurant. Dad called up and asked us to get ready by nine as we were going out for dinner. The time flew fast and the day came to an end.

I checked my phone. Still, there was no message. I lied down in my bed and started recalling the days when we messaged at night. I was the one to ask him about his work and family. All he used to message back was how pretty I looked in my latest profile picture or what stunt he did while returning from college. He hardly showed interest in my life. I was thinking all this when my phone beeped. There was a message:

"Good night. Sweet dreams. Love you."

I replied, "Don't say you love me. Enough of your drama."

He messaged again, "You think its drama, but I love you a lot and it's impossible to live without you."

I replied, "Oh really? Do you know it's my birthday?"

He replied, "Oh shit. Baby I am so sorry. I forgot. Actually my net is not working so I couldn't open my account. I am so sorry. Happy Birthday Love. I love you."

"Shut up. Just shut up. You never knew its my birthday. You have never asked me. And you depend upon social media to know when its your girlfriend's birthday? You never loved me for who I am. You have problem with my work, my passion, my career and even with my religion. Please don't disturb me anymore. Just go away and let me live.", I typed this as fast I could and blocked him.

I threw my phone at the foot of the bed and dug my face in the pillow. I wept till my head started aching.

I wept because I realised why I never could love him ever. I could never because he did not give me any reason to fall in love with him. He wanted to change me according to his convenience.

All he wanted was to boast about being in a relationship and that led me to avoid him right after two months of our relationship. I realised it when he had once told me, "Finally, I have a girlfriend!". I was deeply hurt when he cheated on me twice. I had caught him red handed flirting with other girls but had forgiven him thinking he was just joking. And thats how he convinced me.

My birthday had to be the last day I thought. I pledged never again to fall in love with anyone. I decided to work hard to build my career. To die for my passion. I had indulged myself into the print media four months back and was determined to do something big. He was against my dream and that's how I loved my passion more. I wanted to make it large. I became ambitiously obsessed, or may be obsessively ambitious.

To be continued......

Jaismita Alexander