death by a thousand cuts (lenrisa)

the rest of the world was black and white but we were in screaming colour

#NowPlaying: out of the woods (piano version) by taylor swift at the grammy museum

trigger warning: panic attack, accident etc.

A monthly outing is a must for Leni and Risa, considering how hectic work can get for them, they feel like they owe it to themselves to take a breather every month.

Now, they're on their way back to the city to grind for work tomorrow.

Driving is one of the things they share a love-hate relationship with, but outings like this, they prefer driving on their own. Usually, Leni would be behind the wheel, but Risa would surrogate in case Leni's knackered enough to continue.

Looking at it now
It all seems so simple
We were lying on your couch
I remember

Risa was busy scrolling through her phone, reading tweets on Twitter to keep herself updated with the happenings of the world. Normally, a phone would be a newspaper, but with old age and vertigo, the combination of the two would just kill her instead of killing her boredom.

Somehow, Leni's name is trending. It's not uncanny, she's the President of the Philippines, but why now? It's surreal how you can suddenly be a trending topic one day even when you're not doing anything.

"Love... trending ka ulit? May pinost ka ba na fake news peddler?" Risa inquired, but her lover is busy navigating the route as the surge of traffic is going to happen in an hour or so.

"Sa, baka ano lang may fake news na nagresurface. Was reading my book kanina, no time for posting pero inupdate ko ki-" Leni and Risa's phones started to ping incessantly.

You took a Polaroid of us
Then discovered
(Then discovered)
The rest of the world was black and white
But we were in screaming color
And I remember thinking

"Speaking of. Sa, please check nga, si Jill nagtext eh." Leni was still busy navigating the way, Risa with two phones on hand. "Ok, pero nagtext din si Trish saakin. Ang dami? Let me read." Risa took the liberty to put both phones on her lap, trying to multitask and read the surge of messages from their children.

"Aaaaaah. Ka-panic. Are they okay ba, Lord above the surge of messages."

"Are they fine, Sa?"

You were looking at me, oh
You were looking at me
(Are we out of the woods yet?)
(Are we out of the woods yet?)
(Are we out of the woods yet?)
(Are we out of the woods?)

Risa was at a loss for words, her world spinning into oblivion. A breath fresh air would be good, but with all the fuss in opening the windows, all she could do is panic. She's not easily deceived, but as believer of signs, she knows this one needs no explanation because this one is the truth.

Stunned, Risa couldn't speak, tears are streaming down her face—Leni shared the sheer mode of panic and decided to check what Jillian sent her.

Jillian Therese

Mama?

This doesn't look edited?
Kailan 'to?

A picture of Leni and a man kissing in her van surfaced on the internet, the sheer panic and grief in Risa is now clear.

"Sa...." Leni couldn't keep still, she knows how devastating this is. Three years since they've decided to take the leap of faith and finally said yes to being together, that was the happiest day of both of their lives.

The grieving woman finally found the right words to somehow express her feelings, "Jillian is right. This isn't fake, isn't it?"

Leni hated that it's true, that it isn't fake and for the first time ever, she has no combat for this but to admit it.

"I'm so... so sorry," The pleads and weeps of each other were the last thing they heard.

_____

In the midst of somewhat real and unreal, Risa's vision could see pine trees around them, and also she could somehow hear voices of people screaming for medical assistance, but her view is such a sight for sore eyes. I must be hallucinating, this is paradise, no help needed. Pine trees around, Leni beside her sunbathing.

Remember when you hit the brakes too soon?
Twenty stitches in a hospital room
When you started crying, baby, I did too
But when the sun came up, I was looking at you

Despite the paradisiacal sight, the sound of an ambulance at the back of her head dominates the scene. Risa could no longer brush off the difference between this and that.