Merlin and Arthur in Lockdown

Ten

'Is it already your turn to cook?'

Merlin stared at the mound of buttered peas that Arthur loaded onto a bowl. His chin was resting on his folded arms on the kitchen bench. There was a strong resemblance between him and a deflated puppy at the current moment.

'It is,' replied Arthur. He placed a steak on to his plate. 'Deal With it.' Silently, he scooped a portion of mashed potato next to the meat, followed by the peas.

Merlin dragged himself up from the stool and filled up his own plate. He and Arthur had been rather quiet ever since the ride back from the walking trail. Merlin found it absurd that Arthur was okay to accept he 'wasn't allowed to' go out with Gwen. Like he was a child and had to listen to his dad's every word. Arthur was quick to shut him up. There was also the other ominous thing that was on Merlin's mind: Arthur joining the taskforce to capture the sorcerers.

He gobbled up a mouthful of dinner and tried not to think about it. 'The food's all seasoned okay', he said. 'But it's just a bit...'

'Practical?' said Arthur from the other side of the bench.

'Boring, I was gonna say. Unimaginative? Spartan. Yes, that's the word I'm looking for!'

Arthur sighed with a shake of his head.

It didn't break the tension as Merlin had hoped, but it was something of a relief. He was also well aware that Arthur had been training with the Royal Military Academy since he was in high school, something the prince embraced with pride. So the 'Spartan' insult was hardly going to cut it. Maybe he should stop his attempts to lighten the situation.

'Arthur.' Merlin rested his cutlery on his plate for a moment. 'I don't think the taskforce should go ahead.'

'You would rather let the sorcerers get away? Those who might have created the plague?'

'I think they should be questioned, yes. But sending in people to fight is just going to stir things up.'

'There has already been background investigations. The taskforce is sure of what it's doing. And we must be ready to fight.' Arthur had his eyes on the piece of steak he was cutting instead of Merlin. 'Because the sorcerers will be ready.'

Which meant Merlin needed to be there to protect Arthur. 'You shouldn't go there,' he added quietly. He could feel Arthur's stare before the prince stood up and washed his dish, drowning out any further words Merlin was going to say with the rush of tap water. When he turned the tap off and returned to the bench, Merlin spoke.

'If you know these people could be dangerous, should you really be going along? You could get experience on some other mission.'

'That's not how getting experience works. It's out of the question.'

'Is that your words or the king's?'

'Mine.' Arthur was quick.

'Well, you might be wrong sometimes. Just like you might have been wrong to end it with Gwen.'

Arthur had his palms flat on the bench top on either side of him, eyes staring Merlin down. Like he needed to restrain himself. 'I haven't ended anything with Gwen. Nothing had started between us.' He shifted his eyes away from Merlin. 'I can handle the mission tomorrow -I've got the training. I can't be sitting around in safety, hiding behind a screen.'

Merlin didn't argue.

When Arthur looked at him again, it was without the harshness. 'My job as Camelot's Crown Prince is to be there on the ground. Which the lockdown has stopped. But here's something I can do.'

'There's...talk on the Internet that the taskforce is a set-up. Some groups are claiming it's just to capture innocent people with magic.'

'Then I need to go and find out if that's the case.'

A weighty silence passed between them. Merlin did not look at the prince and gave the benchtop a hard look.

Arthur was the one to break the silence. 'I thought I knew what I was doing when I told my father I'd move out. I thought I'd fulfil my role better. Instead of having everything...done for me.'

Merlin met his eyes, recognising his struggle.

'And now it feels like it's back to square one. I can't get to know our people the way I thought I could. Back to being the Prince of Camelot-' Arthur almost smiled, '-well, even worse since I'm just a rectangle on a screen now.' Quieter, he added, 'And nothing beyond that.' He looked up at Merlin again. 'Maybe it's not easy for you to understand, but I need to do this.'

Merlin looked to him without speaking. He did understand.

He also knew what it was like to lose one's purpose. To think you have your destiny figured out -something that came along and showed you what your gifts were for. Only for that to turn out a false alarm. These lockdown days had done that to him.

The Dragon was still fresh on his mind whenever he thought of him, telling Merlin his destiny was to protect Arthur, help him be the king that Camelot needs.

Merlin didn't know what that meant any more. Since they had been mostly stuck at home these last few weeks, Merlin using his magic for no greater purpose than flicking the light switch on when he couldn't be bothered to get up.

So much for his magic being destined for something bigger.

So much for Arthur trying to prove he was more than a ceremonial prince who had it all.

But then Merlin thought of those virtual occasions Arthur had referenced. The faces he lit up. 'You don't have to be anything more than Prince Arthur,' said Merlin.