A Hell Full Of Angels

Scarred memories

I was on the sofa as our puppy that Nova named Dash was sleeping on my stomach Dash had taken an instant liking to me and would follow me around Nova said he must have imprinted on me. I was stroking Dash as he slept on my front just thinking about how this was going to affect dorm life here I mean as far as golden retrievers go he is very well trained. I slowly and carefully moved him off me as Nova came in and sat down after moving my legs and resting them on her lap she smiled at me and I smiled back.

"He's growing," Nova said in a hushed voice.

"You do know how big golded retrievers can get right," I said.

"How big?" Nova said.

"When fully grown around the size of an alsatian," I said.

"Huh maybe when fully grown I can get him to take a chuck out of my dad's arm if he ever tries to get to get close again," Nova said.

"About your dad and your nightmares or rather your PTSD I might know someone who can help and I can be with you all the way if you think it would help," I said propping myself up on my elbows.

"What like a counsellor" Nova said.

"More like a private freelance psychiatrist," I said.

"I..." Nova began but stopped herself before sighing.

"At least consider it, for me," I said as I got up and hugged her.

"Do you trust them?" Nova said.

"I trust the one that got me in contact with the psychiatrist," I said.

"Did you tell someone about me?" Nova said.

"No never like you said it stayed just between us, but I did tell someone that I may need some psychiatric help and was put in contact with someone that could help," I said.

"Give me some time to think it over but I will consider it," Nova said.

"That's all I ask," I said before giving her a long and passionate kiss.

The next few weeks were great we played and trained our new dog and got to know all of Jaz's dormmates alot better along with Kagan and his dormmates, after all, we did play a close game of baseball to win our puppy. In just a few weeks our friend group had grown from 4 to 8 and finally to 12 Nova was still wary about the guys in our friend group but I stuck by her and most of them were gay anyway. I had given Nova the time she had asked for and she had made a decision to at least give this private freelance psychiatrist thing a chance so I went with her to the psychiatrist's office.

"Hello, I'm here to see this psychiatrist" Nova said as we walked into the office.

"Hello girls, good to see you again," Cat said as she gave me a nod.

"Cat your a psychiatrist, but you teach math don't you," Nova said.

"Yes I do teach math but I also have a doctorate in psychology so whenever I am not teaching math psychiatrist is my day job," Cat said.

"But if you have a doctorate in psychology why don't you teach that seems like that would pay more" Nova said.

"Simply put I'm not qualified to teach it," Cat said.

"Oh," Nova said.

"So you are here for what was it," Cat said.

"Well, you see... I have been having... nightmares and they are always of a time when my dad would beat me" Nova said as she took my hand.

"I see I would say that you have a case of PTSD hard to deal with if I am to be one hundred per cent honest but not impossible," Cat said with a smile.

"If you'd like to do this more privately," Cat said as her gaze turned to me.

"Abi stays," Nova said almost snapping at Cat.

"Fair enough," Cat said.

Cat told Nova to tell her everything she could about her father's abuse and with shaky words and a voice that broke whenever her mother came up Nova told her everything. I sat next to her the whole time and that seemed to be the only reason she was able to keep going as Nova told her Cat would come up with coping strategies and ways of looking at her abuse. The best one that she came up with was a way of looking at her memories as scars, scars left behind of a time when life tried to beat her down and she survived. When Nova heard that she looked up she had surprise and interest on her face she then looked like she was deep in thought before she looked at me and smiled.

"You seem to like that idea so whenever you start to feel like your memories of your father are coming up just think of that and then you should be fine if things aren't working or going well then just come and see me," Cat said.

"Thanks, I feel like this helped," Nova said as she got up.

"I'm glad but this will take time to get used to so give it time but I am sure that you'll get through this" Cat said.

We got back to the room and dash ran up to us and ran circles around us before putting his paws on my leg wanting to be picked up I took him in my arms and we went to the sofa. I took my seat and then dash curled up into a ball on my lap and took a nap Nova sat next to me and kissed me with her arms around my neck holding on to me tight.

"What was that about," I said as she pulled away.

"For finding a way for me to deal with the one thing that may have haunted me my whole life" Nova said.

"Of course, any of us would have," I said.

"That's just it no one else did you the only one that actually did something you may not have realised it but Holly and Audrey did know about my nightmares but they just took what I said and didn't go any further than that but you, you looked for a way to help so thank you, thank you so much," Nova said as she kissed me again.

I placed my hand on her cheek and pulled in kissing her back Nova then pushed me back a little too hard and I fell back onto the sofa and Dash fell off in the process he looked unhurt but looked up at us unimpressed making us laugh.