WE SHOULD STOP NOW

PART 12 - DARKNESS

CALEB

As soon as my lips crash onto Joanie's I can't even think straight. I've never felt so utterly captivated by a woman, there is no doubt in my mind that she could bring me to my knees if she simply asked. Sliding my arm around her waist I scoop her up possessively so she's closer to me, I don't want there to be even a slither of air between us. Her little moans and mews are driving me fucking wild and I push my tongue into her mouth to caress hers and all I can taste is honey. She tastes so fucking good I swear I could cry. There's no way I'll ever get bored of kissing these lips.

I'm addicted.

Joanie runs her petite hands around my neck to pull me in closer and fucking hell if I didn't think this kiss could get anymore heated I was wrong. My dick stands to attention, painfully pressed against my jeans and all I can think about is if Joanie is as wet for me as I am hard for her.

Much to my disappointment, Joanie is the first to slow the kiss and try to pull away. I smile against her lips and pepper them with featherlight kisses before I let her go. She looks up at me slowly through those sexy long lashes of hers and I nearly groan out loud she's that beautiful. I can feel her trembling in my arms, she is nervous and so am I. For so many years I've been looking for a girl that I could really fall for and it turns out she's been right in fucking front of me and I was too much of a dumb ass to notice.

"Hey beautiful," I whisper as I gently cup Joanie's face in one hand while keeping my other arm firmly around her waist.

Joanie bites her lip and giggles before I see a spark of worry cross her face and her smile slowly drops making me frown. "What's wrong?"

"Maybe...maybe this wasn't a good idea." She sighs quietly.

Well - that - fucking - hurt.

"We both like each other, what's the problem?" I grit out through slightly clenched teeth.

"Yeah, but do you actually like me? Or are we just two lonely people hooking up cause we have a history from growing up together?" Joanie questions and it makes me feel like she's just slapped me hard across the face.

"Who says I'm lonely?" I snap back.

"You're hanging out with me!" Joanie throws back.

"Don't do that," I say as I step away from her and rub a hand over my face with frustration. "What's wrong with me liking hanging out with you? So what if we grew up together, I like that we did!"

"Three brothers getting together with three sisters...people are just gonna..." Joanie starts to rant.

"I don't give a fuck what people say! Why are you doing this? Stop being so fucking closed off and making up bullshit reasons not to see where this goes." I snap, now I'm pissed off. "What am I, not your type? Do I not fit the Joanie Collins guide book on what's the perfect man? Maybe If I was still captain of some bullshit sports team then I'd have a shot, right?"

The hurt that flashes across Joanie's face nearly makes me stumble back a pace and I instantly regret every fucking word that's just vomited out my mouth. She stares at me for a good few seconds before I see huge tears well up in her eyes before she turns and starts marching away.

"Joa...Joanie," I yell after her but she doesn't stop and my heart is now in my mouth, I barely know how to function after fucking this up so badly especially after the kiss we've just had.

All I know is that I can't lose her.

Joanie is already by the basketball courts near the school's perimeter when I finally catch up to her. "Joanie please!" I beg.

"Fuck you Caleb," She curses over her shoulder as she continues to bolt towards the exit

"Can we just talk?" I beg again.

Joanie whips around and grabs a loose basketball that's lying on the floor nearby and throws it hard into my face making me flinch. "Jesus J!" I yell back startled.

"I said fucking leave me alone!" She screams and this time I stop following her. I do as she asks because as much as I want to follow her and try and calm her down I know she needs her space and the alcohol that's pumping in both our systems is making everything worse.

I stand fixed to the spot watching Joanie disappear into the darkness and I feel empty, it's as if she has taken all the light with her because all I can see now is darkness. After A few minutes I look around and try to work out what the fuck to do next. I can't go after Joanie without making things worse, I don't want to go home to that big empty soulless mansion and I've certainly drunk enough for tonight. I give out a big puff of air then follow my feet mindlessly back towards the playing fields and climb a couple of stairs of the bleachers before sitting down resting my head in my hands. I take a few deep breaths to calm my rising anxiety and start to mull over where I went wrong.

As much as I hate to admit it, my mum was right, Joanie has changed.

The old Joanie would never go to a bar alone regularly and avoid the company of others like she very obviously has been doing. Back in high school she was often the life and soul of so many parties I'd go to. Girls would always swarm around her like she was the queen fucking bee, the one they'd want to aspire to be like. The guys on my football team always ogled at her, I mean even back then she was stunning and she fucking loved the attention, It used to piss me right off. She never knew I did this but very often I'd have to pull guys aside to warn them off, always having to keep half an eye on her at parties so no one took advantage. At the time thats what me and my brothers did, look out for the Collins sisters even if they were pissing us off...they meant everything to us...they still fucking do!

I start thinking about the night at the charity ball, how Joanie just took shit off people instead of standing up for herself. Letting that leech Miles Stone stroke her flawless skin when I could see that he made her flesh crawl every time he touched her.  I wanted to rip his arm right out of the socket for putting his arm around her waist, it's the reason I followed them to their table. I just couldn't let him have her. 

Then there was that red head...Brenda or Bayley or Christ knows what her name was, her snarky comment about that dress and Joanie just took it. Old Joanie would have strutted around that room like it was her own private catwalk not giving two shits what people thought, instead she buried herself in that big glass of wine that she couldn't even stand to drink. I fucking hated her seeing like that, vulnerable and exposed. 

What the fuck happened to her at college. 

I'm not an idiot, things are starting to add up and I hate where that road is taking me. Whoever has hurt her has no idea what's coming for them.

I've not forgotten how she reacted when I brought the whole college thing up on the Campbells getty and the deal we made to tell each other our secrets. 

Maybe that's what I've got to do to win her around and get her to open up...I need to open up and be honest with her.