WE SHOULD STOP NOW

PART 14 - GENTLE

JOANIE

It's 03:59 in the morning and I'm sitting on my sofa fully clothed, puffy eyed and ready to start the day. I've been awake for what feels like most of the night. I gave up attempting to sleep about an hour ago, so instead I opted to just get up and get changed, for the last thirty five minutes I've sat slumped on my sofa watching my alarm clock ticking away until it goes off in 5-4-3-2...I slam my hand on the button to stop the shrill alarm going off just when the clock is about to hit 0400. I close my eyes and give out a huge sigh before slowly rising to my feet to go make a start on this morning's bread.

It's Monday morning and todays the day when I find out if Caleb is going to come back to work or not. We've not spoken since our fight Saturday night. I'd really hoped that Caleb would've text or called me yesterday...but nothing...radio silence. I went to text him and even typed up several messages before I kept hitting delete. Even though what he said to me was hurtful, I'm fully aware that I provoked the argument. Caleb got too close and I panicked, I was the one to cut and run. Jesus, I'm truly pathetic.

As much as I've tried to prepare myself for Caleb's inevitable no show today, I know I'm going to be crushed nonetheless. I've no one to blame but myself. I pushed him away, like I always do with anyone that gets too close. At least now whatever this thing we had is over and I can't open myself up to more pain I tell myself but even those thoughts seem to send cold shards of ice through my heart.

As I sluggishly descend the stairs that lead from my apartment to the back of the bakery I go to unlock and push open the heavy fire door at the bottom when I hear music playing through the door. I frown to myself as I fumble to get the right key from my keychain, wondering If i've left the radio on all weekend.

Finally I unlock the door and push it open standing in the doorway to listen and look around. The music is so much louder now the doors open and straight away I can see that the lights are on in the kitchen...and then I hear it...I hear Caleb singing away to himself to the radio as he clatters around the kitchen and my heart literally melts.

He came back, he actually came back!

A fat tear rolls down my cheek that I quickly wipe away with the back of my hand before I slowly step forward until I'm now in the doorway of the kitchen. Caleb has his back to me, he's wearing a fitted black t.shirt that shows off the definition of his muscles beautifully, he's got his apron on and he's already working on the bread dough.

I go to open my mouth to say something, but I don't know what to say so I stand there open-mouthed for a good few moments before unstoppable tears start to roll down my cheeks. I've no way to hide them in time because right at that moment Caleb turns round with a heavy bowl in his hands full of dough and our eyes collide. He stops singing instantly and I swear the whole world falls silent along with him.

With his eyes fixed on me Caleb slowly puts the bowl down on the counter and rubs his hands on his apron to clean off the powder before moving towards me cautiously without saying a word. I naturally take a step back and drop my eyes chewing on my lips. I'm usually so good at hiding my emotions but right now I've lost all control. A total crumbling mess and I loathe myself for being so weak.

Two large hands slide to cup around my jaw tenderly and it feels like I've forgotten how to breathe. Caleb gently raises my face until I see those two bright blue orbs dancing back at me and a serious expression on his face. More tears escape by eyes which Caleb wipes away with his large thumbs as he moves circles on my cheeks. I take an unsteady breath as Caleb leans in and kisses away the remaining tears from my first cheek then moves to the other before kissing those away too. Caleb then brushes his lips against mine briefly before pulling back to look over my face.

"One fucking day away from you and I loose my fucking mind. I can't stand you not talking to me, what's that about huh?" Caleb quietly says as he strokes my face. "Guess I must really like you?" He smiles down at me.

"I didn't think you were coming back." I croak out truthfully.

Caleb shakes his head seriously, "I'm not going fucking anywhere."

Before I can say anything more, Caleb slams his lips against mine and I frantically kiss him back hard as relief washes over me before desire and lust takes over. I wrap one arm out his neck bringing him in closer whilst my other arm wraps around his strong hard body, i'm desperate to run my hands under his t.shirt to touch his warm skin and need my fingertips into his tense muscles. I groan into his mouth at just the thought which allows Caleb to push his tongue into my mouth and caress mine. God, he's a mind blowing good kisser, my toes curl up and my core floods from the sensation of having his lips and hands on me.

Caleb drops his hands suddenly from my face and grabs hold of the back of my thighs jolting me up so that my legs wrap around his body, never breaking the kiss. He takes a few steps backwards and pins me against the wall before he pulls away from my mouth and starts to suck and kiss around my neck, I close my eyes panting hard as he starts planting open mouth kisses on any bare skin of mine he can find. Holy Shit - that feels so good and for a few moments I'm truly lost in deliriousness.

I can feel his rock hard cock against my core and although Caleb feels so fucking good right now, but something in my brain suddenly snaps and my eyes spring open, panic starts to form in my belly. I start to tense up and pull away. Caleb notices straight away and stops what's he's doing to look at me in the face.

"I'm sor..." I go to say, but Caleb plants a small slow chaste kiss of my lips to silence me before carrying me to a work counter and gently placing me on top. I unwrap my legs from around him but leave my hands around his neck. Caleb stands between my legs still but he's no longer pressing against my body. Although I miss the feeling, having a bit of my space back is just what I needed and my anxiety starts to drop.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm moving too fast again." he mutters softly as he moves some hair from my face and behind my ear. "I find it hard not to get carried away when you're around." He smiles at me.

"Caleb..." I try to explain, but again he cuts in.

"I know someones hurt you, I can just tell J, but I'm never going to do anything like that to you. I can take things slow. I can be gentle. I'll be gentle as you need me to be because I know that's what you need right now, OK?" He whispers.

I release the breath that I didn't even know that I was holding and although my eyes sting for the new tears that are starting to seep from my eyes. They're not from sadness this time, they're from love. I just fell in love with Caleb Maverick hard and there's no turning back now.

I give Caleb a little tearful nod before I lean forward and nuzzle my head into his neck. Smiling softly as he wraps his arms around me possessively to bring me into a warm hug. We stay like this for a few minutes before Caleb kisses my hair. "Come on, I'm not having you sad all day." He says as he pulls me off the counter and drops me carefully to my feet, he takes me by the hand into the kitchen and cranks the radio's dial up louder and music echoes throughout the empty bakery.

I frown at Caleb, but he just grins at me as he spins me out and then spins me back into his arms before he starts making us dance wildly making me giggle. I peer over his shoulder and it's nearly 04.45 on the wall clock, he must be mad.

'We Are Young' by Fun (ft. Janelle Monáe) booms out on the radio, it's not a particularly romantic slow song, it's upbeat and fun and I soon start belly laughing as Caleb dances and spins me around my little kitchen, pulling me in for kisses every so often and I beam up to him as we dance and hold each other until the mornings sunbeams start to rise up.