Promise?

Why?

Graham had noticed months ago, Ryan weeks. Yazmin Khan loved the doctor and everyone but the pair had noticed. Nadja was stunned at first but it felt natural for her eldest.
Sonya however was more focused on a certain brunette. She had an eye on the Sinclair boy for years, ever since they were kids. Ryan had a certain aspect she couldn't pinpoint but she loved him either way.

Graham missed his wife but took joy in seeing his grandson happy and he knew that was going to end with a certain Khan. It made him happy that his TARDIS family would all be happy enough to start and nurture relationships of their own.

I think that's what finally let him free.
Knowing that they would be alright without him.

His cancer knew he was ready and it consumed him like a swarm of bees. Quick and Painless. It took 3 days for his body to finally let go of life and no one had taken interest in the issue before it was too late to say goodbye.

He was gone for good and The Doctor knew she could have saved him if she had only noticed earlier. Ryan was acting out of sorts ever since they got the news. He hadn't even noticed Graham had gone to hospital days before and he wanted to scream at whoever had taken his only family from him. Yaz was in denial that her space grandfather was gone. The same old man who had comforted her when The Doctor was in jail and who always had sandwiches on hand for the fam.

Greif.

It had hit all of them differently but the effects stuck nonetheless. The Doctor added his name to her list of loved and lost. The list had grown and she was ashamed. It had always troubled her over the millennium she has spent making friends and watching them die. When River spoke her name she knew that was important but when The Doctor learned of River's actual connection that's what broke her. Something snapped and had never fully healed. Until she met Yaz. The moment their eyes locked for the first time on that train it was magical. Magic was Science and The Doctor knew that but it didn't stop the thoughts and dreams that kept the nightmares at bay. She hadn't meant to yell at her but emotions perplexed the timelord. This regeneration more than most. Graham had always been nice and simple. His emotions were always clear and The Doctor envied that. She was always telling him to be quiet but she never wanted his solem silence. She wanted her Earthy grandpa feels Graham back and spent weeks wondering if she could save him and how things were gonna be from now. Her nights plagued with either dreams of Yazmin or memories of those lost on her duty, The Doctor longed for things to go back. Back to how they were before she stole the TARDIS and ran. Before the Time War. She hated conflict and fighting more than anyone in the universe because she had seen too many casualties. Heard too many gunshots and lasers blasting.
Graham was gone and she understood that she couldn't cross her timeline again. That wouldn't stop her from beating herself up for it nightly and it became a part of her routine. Wake up and  find a problem to fix, spend all day fixing it and go to her room that's covered in crystals. She spent her nights remembering and crying. She hadn't eaten since she found out which for a human would have been deadly but her body was used to this process. Clara, River and Rose had hurt the most recently. Her best friend in the universe and 2 of her lovers. She couldn't lose Yaz and she wasn't sure how to keep the brunette safe.

Ryan was keeping his mind off his grandparents and his now orphaned state by practicing his basketball skills in one of the basketball courts in the TARDIS when a brunette came in wanting the same thing. A way out of her own head. Yaz and Ryan started talking about random things until Ryan piped up asking Yaz.

"Yaz would it be alright if I asked Sonya out for dinner sometime?"

"Ryan, mate I love you like a brother but I don't really want you to be my brother-in-law."

"Yaz. I've known you since primary and all I'm asking for is one dinner date with her. I promise I will look after her."

"Fine on one condition Ryan. I don't want you snogging my sister."

"Why not? I'd be an excellent brother-in-law"

"Ryan mate no snogging my sister."

"Fine but you can't snog The Doctor if I can't snog Sonya."

"Fine. It's not like she fancies me anyways."

"Come on Yaz cheer up a little. First to 5 hoops doesn't have to get dinner."

"Your on, Sinclair."

The Doctor sank slowly to the floor outside the court. Yaz fancied her as well. Also since when did Ryan fancy Sonya? She panicked and started running with no set destination. It was too late and Yaz had heard her pounding footsteps and ever panting breath. That didn't stop The Doctor from running into a random room and locking the door behind her but once she locked it she wished she had run into any other room than this one. This was Clara's room. The Doctor sat in the middle of the room and shed buckets of tears each hot as they poured out of her puffy eyes. Anyone but her. Clara was one the few people that had seen The Doctor regenerate and she was special. Impossibility ran through that girl like a moth is drawn to the closest flame. She missed her impossible girl and her bad wolf those two hurt more than the others. Graham was a different type of loss he was like a grandfather to the whole TARDIS Fam and now he was gone.

Yaz was sitting on the other side of the door waiting for it to open. Trying to read this girls horrid handwriting.

Dear Doctor,
Promise that once I am gone you will find happiness and please never stop being The Doctor. River told me once that her husband was broken and needed fixing. I don't fully understand what she meant by that but you would. Cheeky Old Man. Never Eat Pears Doctor you always said that and I second it. I know you're going to miss me but promise to Run you clever boy and remember.
Sincerely Clara xx.

Clara. I had heard that name before. The Doctor had mumbled it once when trying to remember someone. This River is married to The Doctor that obvious.Why wouldn't she tell us, why wouldn't she tell me? I thought we were close. Why doesn't she ever tell me anything. I knock on the door and sit back down. I hear the lock click open and the door follows suit revealing a puffy eyed timelord with a small and dirty looking teddy bear. Did that belong to Clara? How long ago was she here? Why hadn't The Doctor told me anything?

I walk out of Clara's old room with the teddy bear I got her after the first full year of putting up with eyebrows. I wanted to tell Yaz everything but she wouldn't understand it and even though it hurts, she can't know. It would break her mentally.