Promise?

Her.

How do I explain any of this to her, to my Yazmin. The girl who never gave up. Maybe she should have because those closest to me always end up getting hurt the most. Rose got her happily ever after but at what cost? River and Clara died trying to save me. Donna lost years of her life spent running and growing. Bill got converted into something the universe hates. Graham died because I wasn't watching close enough. Never again would I let those around me suffer. Not Ryan and certainly not Yaz.

I walk off to my room and gasp when I open the door.               

River.

But how was she here? My dead wife coming to haunt me yet again.

"You haven't changed one bit in all the time I've known you Doctor. All those faces and all those years one thing always stays with you. Fear. I'm dead you need to work through that soon because I'm getting sick of waiting for you to get a partner so I can gossip with them about you. Darling I know you better than most. That Yazmin girl would be perfect for you. Not like I wasn't but you know me. Had to die for you didn't I."

"You chose to die River. Quite literally handcuffed me so I wouldn't stop you. Thank you for not getting me killed by the way."

"It's alright Sweetie. Makes up for shooting you that one time. Now I love you but your being stupid. Don't worry about the future. Time never stopped us so why is it stopping you now?"

"Because I don't want to lose her like I lost you. Because I can't bear losing someone I love so much again. River I love her I really do but I don't want to hurt so much more than I would if she died whilst we were friends. I can't do that to myself again. Graham, Bill, Clara, Amy, Rory, Rose, Donna, Martha, Jack, so many more. But you River you were important god I'm still not completely over your death and it's been 3 regenerations including this one. Rose got a part of me but I can't promise Yaz that and I can't love her with my whole heart while a part is still owned by you. I can't give to her the love that I have because I don't want her to leave. All of you leave. It always happens, you all die and I am left to pick up the pieces alone."

"You can sustain her life with that spare myyr technology you stole all those years ago. I can'tsave us Doctor I am long long gone. My love will follow you as it has all these years but I cannot stand by and watch you fall apart trying to make sure history does not repeat but it always does my love. Yazmin isn't me. She is damaged but so are you. Puzzle pieces meant for each other. You complete her and she completes you in ways I could never. I have fixed and patched as many holes of yours that I can. Sweetie you need to let me go and let her in."

"River I don't want to let you go."

"But you must my love."

With River's mind and body gone the room lowered the lighting to let the timelord shed her tears and greif. Tears climbed down her cheeks and they rocked her gently to slumber.

Yazmin Khan loved The Doctor and that was one thing she knew. Which is why she left a note on the console telling her and Ryan that she was going on a run and not to worry about it. As she burst out of the TARDIS she felt a sense of relief overcame the crushing guilt of losing her friend.

She had no plans to leave the TARDIS but needed a break and running both let her think and trained her body for adventures. As she jogged through the dark and hallowed streets of her home town.

Sheffield has always given her a fuzzy feeling but running past her family home she looked up and wondered how different her life would be if she never got called out that day. What would have become of the people she had saved? Why her? She shook these thoughts away and jogged up to the hill that overlooked her beloved city. The hill she almost died on. Her stomach dropped as she approached it. A sort of nausea overcame the woman.

Black spots consumed the stars as her slim body met the flat peak and soon her vision was corrupted and nothing was visible. Her mind was going at bounds for minutes until it all stopped.